Zelda'sZecrets

So you just had to come back after five years to solve our modern culinary dilemmas as only you can. How did we ever manage without you? You conveniently forget, or fail to notice, that the likes of Jamie Oliver are always showing us how to cook fine food in minutes. You have obviously never watched 'Ready Steady Cook'. Instead you believe that, like some dormant super-hero, you have been summoned back to save us from our own lasagnes. Yet I have never seen such a self-indulgent cookery programme. The current fad for the 'at home' format works when the chef has personality but to spend a large section of the air time schmoozing with footballers was both unnecessary and about as interesting as waiting for your cake made with mashed potato (why?) to come out of the oven.

Yet the bandwagon is already rolling. Already products featured in the show are being promoted on the back of their inclusion, with the oft-quoted 'Delia Effect' probably being bandied around hundreds of advertising agencies across the land. You can justifiably accuse me of sour grapes. If the name Zelda Manners could be used to sell copious amounts of tofu I would happily sit back and rake in a commission. And, I suppose, with millions of cookery book sales to your name you can afford to be so confident that the public will hang on your every word. But footballers know when it is time to hang up their boots and even super-heroes eventually retire. Maybe you, too, are now past your sell by date.

Visit my websites The Secret Vegetarian and Vegetarian Delirium.

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