Temporarily disabled

09:14:36 o'clock BST
Feeling Sad

Today is the last day on this journal. As discussed before I am going private because the wrong people are reading this journal. I have never set out to hurt anyone and cannot think why there is anyone out there keen to make trouble for me and my family. I am amazed that ex school colleagues of mine are still bothering to read my journal. Why! I have been gone from the school and London for almost two years. I never think about HCS anymore and have no intentions of ever setting foot over the doorstep again, after the way my son has been treated by the powers that be. So goodbye to those sad people who have upset me and my family so much. Find someone else to bitch about. I am sur e you will.

My real friends will soon get to know where my new journal is as I will invite them to join me. I am not going to stop writing because of a few sad people.

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08:37:33 o'clock BST
Feeling Happy
Hearing Aled Jones

I love Easter as I love the idea of new life and a new beginning. I am off to church later as it seems such an important day to actually attend church. We should show our appreciation of the sacrifice made by Jesus and the fact that he came back from the dead, confirming the life everlasting. When I think of mum I like to think she is still with me and watching over me....dad too! I look forward with hope at Easter time. I am sure that is the message of Easter.

I also love daffodils and tulips, two of the most beautiful flowers in the world. They are so short lived as they are only out in profusion for a few weeks. They do not last in a vase either as I have found I needed to replace mine in the lounge before the week is up. At the moment I have daffs in thr lounge, tulips in the kitchen and a big assortment of chrysanthemums and carnations in the lounge. With my indoor plants in the doorway to the balcony and my wonderful tubs on the balcony it feels like I am living in a garden! Who cares about a garden when you can have it indoors. The one thing I miss is my garden but I know I could not cope well with the maintenance these days. But I do miss my waterfall and fish pond. We have communal gardens here but it is not the same.

The weather continues to be good. All those people who spent a fortune going abroad need not have bothered as we are having a warm and sunny Easter in good old Blighty! Nikki is cooking a turkey today and no doubt we shall all have a good family day, which is what it is all about. I love my family so much and feel blessed that my kids have turned out to be such loving sensitive people.I will no doubt talk to the boys today and wish them a happy easter. I know Andy and Cara will be happy with Jack staying with them and their imminent visit to the Big Apple! Matt and Tien do not have Tilly as she has gone away with her mum. I expect they are relaxing and catching up on the busy lives they lead.

I had a good day yesterday as Liz came over about 3.30pm and we went into Southport shopping. I did not go with anything in mind but once in M&S I get tempted. I used to have a store card which I had to get rid of as I was forever buying clothes from there. It was much too easy with a store card to run up large debts. Also the APR rate is extortionate. Anyway true to form I managed to buy some gym clothes for my exercise in the gym and a new top!! We went in there to find Liz a new pair of reasonably priced jeans. Needless to say she walked out with no jeans and a couple of Easter eggs for her kids....I walked out with yet more clothes!!

When we got back Nikki and the boys were here. She had let herself in as she has a key. The boys were settled down watching Sponge Bob, one of the dvds I bought for them. They had brought back a Macdonald to eat here. This had been demolished before we arrived! Nikki had been all day in Worden Park with the boys. This is the park we found out where I used to live in Leyland. She had asked me to go with her but I had already made arrangements with Liz. Rob had refused to go....great dad he is. She said she felt like a single mum as all the dads were there playing football with their sons and helping them on the zip wire and slides. He spent the day relaxing in a long bath, had a sleep and took the dog for a long walk. He said he needed time to himself to relax! What about Nikki when does she get the time to relax? Oh it is maddening, it really upsets me. He is such a selfish man.

After Nikki had gone I warmed up the quiche, put in the baked potatoes and made the salad. We sat down to a great meal after we had downed a couple of glasses of Bristol cream sherry! Then we sat down to watch Stepmom a film with julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon....a real tear jerker! I stayed awake for the first hour but then guess what I fell asleep and was woken up by Liz saying I ought to go now!! It was 11 o'clock not 2 in the morning! What a fool...I cannot seem to keep awake past 10pm these days! It must be the early mornings as I was up at 6am again today...on a Sunday!

I seem to be doomed with my Swatch watch. The battery went and I had trouble finding a jeweller who did the batteries. Now I woke to find my watch on the pillow and the strap has broken. I will have to go and find someone to repair it as I cannot go away on Tuesday without my watch.

I am listening to Rick Wakeman's lovely compositions on Aled's show. He is a fantastic pianist. I used to teach his kids as he lived on the Isle of Man and I went to the same church as him. That was a Baptist church and Rick was big in this church often singing and playing piano during the Service. I am not sure whether he still lives there but he used to talk about how he gave up drink and drugs from his pop band days. He was an inspiration to the young people and is a great evangelist. It was great to hear his music again.

Well must go and finish off the filing away of bills etc. I started this yesterday and I have now shredded all the past bills and bank statements. I got very worried when I saw a programme on tv about people stealing your identity from your rubbish bins. Old paper work which contained bank account details was enough for criminals to clear out your bank account. I have worked hard and long for my money, no-one is going to snatch it away from me! So I am queen of the Shredders these days!

Must go and get some brekkers now. I think it will be the usual crumpets with marmite and banana. Once again for your advice regarding my journal. I am investigating how to start a new one. I will of course invite my good friends from aol to read it. In the mean time ther will be no more intimate details of my sons' lives. Happy Easter Day to you all and may God bless every one of you.

 

 

 

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07:59:13 o'clock BST
Feeling Angry
Hearing radio 2

Saturday April 7th.

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support over my predicament with my journal. I do not see why I should stop writing it because of some nasty folk who cannot keep their noses out of other people's business. So I have decided that I will close down this journal and start a new one for invited guests only. This is a shame as over the years I have got to know some of you through sheer chance. You have just accidentally fallen on my blog or read it through another friend. Still that will have to be what I shall do. I am not sure how you start a new one. How does that work? I do not really want to delete this journal. Does it stay in tact if you start a new one? I need help here so if anyone can answer my questions please do. I am not sure if any of you have more than one journal. There are a lot of things I would like to say but I have never been able to about my last school. Despite what they think I have never criticised it online or any of its members of staff. In fact I have hardly mentioned the school or its pupils. The journal is mostly about my very ordinary life and my family. I want to continue talking about my kids and grandkids and how proud of them I am. I also know I keep you all entertained with tales of my internet dating and quest for a middle aged man...or elderly one for that matter! So I will be continuing but in private. That is once I find out how to do that!! Probably about time as the name Temporarily disabled does not really apply anymore. It was a reason for starting to write in the first place. But that is about 3 years ago now and I have moved on somewhat!!

We are supposed to be having a heat wave this weekend. It was certainly warm in the sunshine yesterday but it did not feel 70 degrees in Southport. Maybe that was just along the south coast. We still had a cool wind which kept the temperature down. It is nice to be able to sit in the sun though and I do hope this warm front continues. It is great for the kids too as bank holidays tend to be a wash out. Rain, rain and more rain is the usual menu. At least mums and dads can let their little darlings run riot in the countryside when the weather is good. And it does not cost a lot to keep them entertained. My grandsons will spend hours building dens in the woods or playing on the beach. This costs nothing and is healthy play outside in the fresh air. Anything to get them off the computers and away from the tv. The roller skates have become popular as an activity. So it was worth spending all that money on the Xmas presents for Joe and Max. I did not buy skates for Owen as I thought he was a liability just on his feet without putting skates on him!!

I did not see nikki and family yesterday as I had two lessons to do which took all morning. Then I had lunch at home and sat down to watch films.I saw Jim Carey's Fun with Dick and Jane. It was very funny and I laughed out loud all on my onio! I give it 9/10 for Jim Carey's sheer comic genius! Then I started to watch a film called Scenes of a sexual nature. It was slow to start and not as far as I remember very sexual! I woke up when it was all over!! So I slept through 2 hours of film of a sexual nature! God I must be getting old or perhaps it wasn't that sexual after all. I will have to watch it again to see!

I was awoken by the phone and it was Liz inviting me to dinner as she had made a large Fish pie for a Good Friday bash! As I love fish pie I got over there by 7pm. I may have told you that my normal enormous appetite for food has been diminished since the episode of the stomach bug. So as the idea of fish pie excited me...especially when I did not have to cook it myself, I did not hesitate in accepting the invitation. Once there we waited for it to reheat and I sat down to a small portion. I do not overload my plate these days as I cannot manage big meals without feeling sick. At the tapas bar I ate well but smaller portions than I would have normally eaten. Liz was quite surprised at the small amounts I am now eating as she is used to me being a pig! I ate the small portion of a delicious fish pie and felt really full. I did not have second helpings. Liz did and said she felt a real glutton! I had to turn down the soup for starters and the dessert as I just could not manage anything but the main course. Still I am sure I ate too much before so this must be a good thing. I am also drinking a lot of water instead of wine. That must be good too I suppose!

I took some dvds with me but we ended up just chatting and listening to Clannad the Irish folk band. Liz is really into Irish everything,....men, music, dance, poetry etc. We are hoping to have a long weekend in Dublin soon. I have been once when I lived on the Isle of Manas it was easy to get to Ireland from there. I preferred it to Belfast, which I also visited by ferry. The countryside is beautiful and the people are magical it is true and make visitors very welcome. Dublin is steeped in history with architectural wonders and the city is bustling and vibrant. I look forward to our trip. I am lucky that Liz is interested in all the things I am and is a keen jazz fan. I find people either hate or love jazz there are no in betweens. I like all jazz but Liz prefers trad jazz. I prefer John Coltraine and Miles Davies, which I suppose is more mainstream jazz. We also read a lot, enjoy museums, enjoy art and actually paint ourselves. She tolerates my smoking which is good. She never lectures me on its evils! I can honestly say that when we go away we get on and do not have words about anything. She is very laid back and she complements my enthusiasm for visiting new places and doing new things. A great person to go on holiday with!

Liz and I are meeting up this afternoon after she has done a spot of decorating....painting doors. This is because she is putting her large house on the market so that she can down-size and retire from her full time job in Liverpool. She needs to have money behind her as she is not lucky enough to have a good pension like me. Nevertheless she must retire as full time work is now wearing her out. She is living in preson at the moment but is so taken with my flat that she is thinking of moving to Southport. That will be great if she does as we will be able to spend even more time together.

I do not know what we will end up doing tonight but we may try the dreaded Disco again in the hope that one of these evenings someone will actually ask one of us to dance...or both of us ideally! You live in hope!! Still a good frantic dance around our handbags will probably do us both good!

Must go now as I have set myself household chores to do this morning. Boring things like cleaning shower and baths, vacuuming and dusting, ironing, cleaning out fridge etc etc. Have a good holiday weekend!

 

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08:29:53 o'clock BST
Feeling Surprised

Friday April 6th.

You may notice that the pictures I posted a few days have now been deleted. Those of you who saw them....savour them in your memory. I know it is good to see photos of the people who are important in someone's life. However, my sons are very anxious about their privacy being at stake. They apparently are aware that some folk read my blog who are not really on our side, so to speak. The gossip mongers at my school who tried to cause trouble for me when I was teaching there are still at it...you would not believe it would you? Even after I have left and been gone for over a year, they still try to cause trouble for my family. Andy is still there beavering away and his girlfriend teaches there too. So as I am reliably told, some sad people still read my blog for snippets of information, about my sons, I am reluctantly going to have to leave them out of my blog in future. This is sad as they are so part of my life. But for their sake, I will adhere to their wishes. So in future there will be no intimate secrets about them from the past or present and no more photos. I believe that my Headmaster from my last school reads my blog regularly! Why....?! What can he get from my senile rants and observations on life? Your guess is as good as mine. I would hardly have thought that my musings on life as seen through the eyes of an unhealthy pensioner, would have been soap opera material!LOL! So Neil........I will not be mentioning my sons anymore. If you want to find out what is going on in my son's life.....go and ask him. And you have made a big mistake not giving him that job....you won't keep him now. Will they all jump the sinking ship? That is all I will say on the matter. I think it is sad that the gossips have the time to plod through the blog of an old woman instead of getting on and doing there job...teaching and running a school. I can truly say that I do not regret leaving my last school when I did. I am glad to be out of it, especially when I found out that I was under observation because of my blog. They read every entry  going back years to when I commenced writing it. They were apparently told I was writing about the school, certain staff and pupils in a critical manner. As if I would do that? I loved that school, I would never have done anything to harm its reputation. I am a professional not a gossip. My blog rarely mentions anyone except my family. Now thatseems to be out of bounds too. So I either write what I want and go private or be more careful about what I say about my sons...not divulging any private information. As those of you who I call my j-land friends, have never met me and never likely to.....some of you living as you do in USA, I have never considered what I write to have been that important to anyone except me. I write it as a diary and for the perusal of my grandchildren after I have gone. I wish my mum had  written a blog as I would have got a lot of pleasure in reading it , now that she is no longer with me. It is a personal slant on my life as I see it. Of course I am going to mention my kids as they are a huge part of my life. When I am worried about them I write down my thoughts. This helps to clarify the situation in my own mind.Some of your opinions and thoughts help me to get a better perspective on the situation. This is helpful to me. When you have no partner and no parents either...who do you discuss the more intimate details of your life with? Not your children probably as they are a different generation and too close for comfort. I do have a best friend Liz who I can talk to about most things, but she has her own kids and her own problems. I write it down in my blog and usually help myself by self-counselling!! I am clearer what to do after I have discussed it all in my blog!! Does that make sense? Anyway, I am disappointed by those nosey rumour mongers ,who read my blog but never leave a comment or acknowledgement, and have upset both my sons. They are indignant and are aware from comments made to them, that information that should be private and personal has become common knowledge. It can only have come from my blog. So well done Neil, Kath, Guy and anyone else from Harlington who has been reading my blog, you have ruined it for all of us. I wonder how I will write now....all the time thinking about what I can or cannot say. If I never mention my sons, then that will be not true to myself as I adore them both and they are a major part of my life. Not sure what to do about this. Any thoughts my j-land friends? I know some of you have had trouble with people leaving bad comments. Have you had work colleagues reading your blog to get information about you and your family? I know it seems strange but is definitely happening to me.

The 14 marines and sailors who were captured by Iran have just been released..thank God. I was afraid it was going to blow up into an incident which would mean an attack on Iran. We want to be out of the area not more heavily involved. Let's hope this blows over without any further trouble.

Good Friday...how many of us realise the significance of today and Easter itself? Another over commercialised religious holiday. Kids think more about easter bunnies and chocolate eggs than Jesus Christ, that's for sure. Still to me it is spring and the start of good weather and holidays. I love the sunshine and already at 8am the sun is shining brightly.....hooray. Breakfast on the balcony this morning I think! I have planted up my new plants and it looks really attractive out there. However, it is not quite warm enough for me yet. The wind is quite cold. I went to Liverpool yesterday after I had returned the boys to their mum. They ended up staying overnight here and were very well behaved, bless them. My new purchases of cheap dvds for kids was a godsend. It kept them happy. I showed them Ice Age 2, which they loved. I was able to watch the Apprentice on the bedroom tv on my own in peace! In Liverpool it was sunny but cold. I got there about 4pm and went straight to the St Johns car park almost next to the theatre. I met Liz in the Queens pub at about 5.15 and we had coffee there before moving onto the Tapas bar where we had a superb selection of dishes. I really enjoy this Spanish style cuisine.

We then went to the Playhouse to see 'King of Hearts', which is a very funny political satire written by the guy who wrote the play about Tony Blair which was recently televised. The cast was good, all verycompetent comic actors with excellent timing. It was a very funny play and toured with Out of Joint, the company who Matt used to work with and directed by his mentor Max Stafford-Clark. It was worth seeing and was a good laugh. It was not such a good laugh getting to my car at 10pm as the car park is only accessible by climbing hundreds of steps to the entrance and there was no lift! I was exhausted by the time I got to my car. Then I had to pay £8 to get out. If I had arrived at 5pm I would only have had to pay £2 as the theatre ticket gives you a car park concession. So I will not be making that mistake again!! I had decided against the train late at night. I am always nervous about travelling at night on my own on public transport....a fear left over from living in London for so long Isuspect!

I have two lessons to do this morning and then no more for over a week as I am off to Chepstow on Easter Tuesday.I am looking forward to my trip to Durham with a coach load of lively pensioners! It should be good fun.I have my own room at the hotel which is great as I did not want to share because of my snoring and insomnia. I often have the radio on all night and get up making drinksetc. No good if you are sharing a room!!

Mind you I will be sharing a room with Nikki in Vietnam. However, I will probably be shattered by the heat and activity out there that maybe I will sleep without any difficulty. By then I hope to have kicked the smoking habit which will help in sharing a room.

I have no plans for today but may go over and see Nikki later. We are having a big turkey meal on Sunday. I am going to my new church first mind you. I do not think Nikki will bother but I feel I want to go after they made me so welcome last week on Palm Sunday.

I am off now to get some toast and marmite with banana....delicious! Happy Easter everyone!

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06:32:47 o'clock BST
Feeling Happy
Hearing LBC

Wednesday April 4th.

Up before dawn breaks again! All washed and dressed by 6am and it is black outside. There is another half an hour before the sun comes up. Lots to do today as I have 4 lessons during the afternoon. My two little brothers aged 6 and 7 are coming at 1pm until 3pm. Then Gemma is coming at 3.30pm and Adam at 5pm. So it will be a busy afternoon and I will have to fit in a swim early evening.My new club has 3 pools and adult only swimming in one of them, so you do not have to take your life in your hands avoiding excited children who insist upon jumping into the pool onto an adult trying to swim lengths and keep fit! I joined a club for that luxury....no kids in the pool. It makes the swimming relaxing and enjoyable when there are no kids around.

Yesterday I had a ball! I used my new travel pass and went into Liverpool by train. It takes less than half an hour and is an interesting journey as it goes through parts of the coast that you cannot see from the road. It goes through the Royal Birkdale Golf Course, which you only see the entrance to from the road. It travels close to the sand dunes in Ainsdale and near to the red squirrel sanctuary in Formby. Liverpool have decided to tidy up the roads and rail lines into the city in preparation for the city being the City of Culture next year. All the new building is coming to fruition now and the city centre will be fantastic when it is all complete.

I got off at Moorfields and walked into the shopping centre. I wandered through matthew Street, home of the Cavern club, made famous by the Beatles first appearing there. It is now a tourist hot spot and there is a Beatles mueum full of memorabilia to do with the Fab Four. Of course Liverpool is the town of their birth nd very proud to be associated with them. The Cavern club itself was pulled down as it was in a dangerous condition and has been rebuilt to look like the old place. I stopped for the first coffee of the day there and had a delicious bacon butty. Then I rang Liz and she arranged to meet me at 1pm for a drink and a chat.She was late as something cropped up at work and so I went in and got us 2 tickets for King's Men at the Playhouse for Thursday. I am going to meet her at 5 on Thursday and we will eat at the Tapas restaurant before the 7.30pm performance.

It is light now and only 6.20am and so it gets earlier every day. One day soon it will not be dark when I wake up! The weather forecast is excellent for this week. It is going to be warm and sunny with highs of about 15 which cannot be bad! It is good that the weather is good for the school holidays as it is hard to keep kids amused daily without spending money. Parents cannot afford to pay up for cinema, bowling etc every day of the holidays. Playing out and making dens in the Squirrel woods is free and just as exciting! But you need good weather for that sort of thing.

Nikki is going with a friend today and they are taking all the kids bowling as they have some free tickets. That should keep them happy for a few hours! They usually have a good time as Nikki tries to find things for them to do each day.

Must go now. Heard from Andy that he did not get the Year Head job he wenr for. he sounds relly upset. he could have done with the exxtra money with the new house and the baby due. Still all will be well I am sure. Have a good day folks!

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07:13:45 o'clock BST
Feeling Happy
Hearing Steve Allen on LBC

Tuesday April 3rd.

Well it is 6.15 and I have been up since 5am again! This is fast becoming a habit! With the good weather just around the corner......hopefully? that will be ok as early morning is the best time of the day. It is dark at the moment but I can watch dawn break from all the windows here and it is lovely. The birds start to sing and the woodpecker starts up. Yes a woodpecker is in the trees of the garden by my kitchen window. It is definitely a woodpecker as the sound is unmistakeable. I have not seen it as yet. I hope to see it one day! No-one else round here seems to be up at this hour, as there are no other lights on!! Just crazy me! LOL!

I was in bed for 10pm last night. I came home after the Corrie jury's verdict on Traey Barlow. She had to be found guity if there was to be any justice in this world...or the world of soaps! David was so obviously a liar and Deidre could not really support her own daughter...that is what sent her down. It has been so long coming to a conclusion. I had almost lost interest by the end. I must say Deidre's performance was terrific. She is a good actress and was utterly convincing...battling as she did with her own conscience. You know now that she will collapse and have a nervous breakdown over not helping her own child escape jail and committing her to 15 years behind bars. I am glad that a satisfactory conclusion has been reached as we have been stuck in limbo for so long! How will Ken and her survive this with all their money gone and the fact that Deidre does not think Ken cares!! We shall see. The acting is so good in Corrie, by far the best core of actors and story lines. I am afraid I got impatient with the trial but I am even more impatient with who killed Tom in Emmerdale. In fact I do not care anymore as it has gone on too long! As for Dawn and the baby. It seems that the wife will cause so much trouble for the happy couple and has turned into a witch. Eastenders now has 2 witches with the Stella woman terrorising the wierd little son of Phil. What is going on there? I do not watch every day and have not been watching diligently lately because of my lessons. You could miss it for 2 weeks and still get up to date fast as the story lines are so slow!! You may be surprised that I even watch soaps! Some snobby folk think soaps are for the deranged. I like them and so did my mum. She watched every day without fail and we discussed it on the phone. I knew not to ring between 7pm and 8.30pm when they were on!! My brother refused to believe that we watched the soaps which he considered to be tv for the plebs! The snob...it is good drama and when you live alone, it becomes your imaginery family!! My mum loved them all. God bless her!xx I never got into the Bill or Casualty though. Just the true soaps and things like Hearbeat and Waterloo Road...good tv!

It is now complete daylight having gone from dark to pure daylight within about 20 minutes! It is amazing to watch. It is not like that in the Far east. I used to get up early when I lived there as it was the coolest time of the day. In Singapore and Hong Kong it suddenly becomes light and day...almost instantaneously. At about 6am it suddenly feels as if someone has put the lights on! The same at dusk...at 7pm every night the curtains are closed and it is suddenly black. It never varies whatever the time of the year. I think I prefer our seasonal changes in UK. It is so unpredictable! Whereas in a tropical country it is the same all the year round, except the temperature drops in the Monsoon season and it rains heavily every day at 2pm in the afternoon and sometimes at other times. When it rained we were so ready for that because of the humidity and the uncomfortable stickiness, that we used to rush out into the garden and just stand in the rain and get soaked to the skin. It was so hot that everything would be dry again within a few minutes. It was so weird it could be pouring on one side of the road and sunny on the other!! I must go back one day and see it all again! We are stopping over for 3 hours on the way to Vietnam. But we will not be able to leave Changi airport during that time...what a shame!

I spent all day with my 3 musketeers yesterday. I got there at 8am as Nikki ggot back from night duty at the hospital. Then we got them all ready and I took them to see Mr Bean on holiday. It was very funny and Rowan Atkinson is superb in tht role! The kids loved it. I sat on my own with Joe 2 rows back, Max in the same row but at the other end and Owen who toured the first 10 rows for the entire film. He must have sat on every seat at the front of the cinema!! As no-one else was sitting there he was not disturbing anyone so I just let him get on with it!! We came out at 12.15 and then went to Ocean Plaza across the car park to eat and for the boys to play in theKidsplay. That kept them busy for a couple of hours and I got them back home for 4pm!! Nikki was still in bed but got up just after that. I was glad to be able to let hr have a good sleep but I felt exhausted! The boys were good for me and no trouble but they are just noisy and typical boisterous boys, they just wear me out!! I must be getting old! So after we had eaten a delicious roast chicken for tea and I had watched the soaps, I came home and got straight into bed! Sad aren't I?!!

No lessons yesterday or today as the schools are on Easter break and some of my tutees are away. I have lessons as normal on Wednesday and Thursday though. Next week I have cancelled them all as I am away to Chepstow and then having my mini break to Durham with my cousin Eileen. I am looking forward to that.

Going to get breakfast now as my tummy is rumbling. I am still off food and not eating much. I do not seem to have lost any weight though. Have a good day. I am going to the gym and swimming later on today. Hope you have a good day.

 

 

 

 

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06:28:29 o'clock BST
Feeling Happy
Hearing steve allen on LBC

Monday April 2nd.

I am up early again! I seem to have stuck on waking at 5am and once awake I cannot get back to sleep and so I get up and start my day. Hence I need a snooze in the afternoons and go to bed early.You cannot keep going on just a few hours of sleep each night. I went to bed at 10 as there was nothing decent on TV. I have seen Persuasion before, I cannot stand Paul Daniels and I could not find anything worth watching. So I watched The Quiet American with Michael Caine. It is adapted from the Graham Greene novel and a fantastic story set in guess where ....Vietnam! Very topical. It was at the time of the vietnam war and so there was not much footage showing Saigon's beauty as it was war time and Saigon gets blown up. The girl in the film who was Vietnamese was absolutely beautiful. I enjoyed this film and give it 9/10 because of Michael Caine's superb acting. Then I watched Shopgirl, Steve Martin's film. It was not that good and I gave that 5/10 So I can send2 films back today and get some more.

I had a very quiet day yesterday. I did manage to get to St. James church for 10.30am. Thr vicar is very good and the service was not too old fashioned but just right. People were very friendly, the congregation being mostly my age or older. That is inevitable in the area I live where people come to retire! I will go again anyway.

After that I went into town and had a coffee and a bacon butty. I made a quick trip to WHSmith for some workbooks for the 6 and 7 year olds who are coming on Wednesday for their lessons. I got home late afternoon and watched the film. Then I spent ages downloading 75 pictures for you and labelling them. Do have a look at my last entry if you have not seen them.

Tummy is rumbling now......I need food....crumpets with marmite and banana! Wonderful! 

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09:52:48 o'clock BST
Feeling Happy
Hearing radio 2 steve wright's sunday lovesongs

Sunday April 1st.

Pinch, punch first of the month! I wonder where the April Fools tricks are in the Sunday Times? I will have a good look later and see if I can spot them as they will put in spoof stories for sure!

April is here at last and I hope spring is now here as we have waited long enough for some warm weather.The daffs are out and the tulips too so we have a good chance of nice weather while the kids are on holiday. I am off to Durham with my cousin Eileen on the 9th and I am looking forward to that 4 day trip very much. We are going by coach so there will be no driving and I will be with other folks of my age and interests from the U3A...University of the third age.... a club for retired intelligent people!

Before that I have a week here celebrating Easter weekend with Nikki and family. We are hoping that Andrea, Jay and the boys will come to visit for the day on Tuesday next. That will be good fun and I will be able to pay them back for their hospitality on my way to and fro London.

I took Nikki out to the garden centre and bought her 2 tubs for the front of her house. I treated her to a nice lunch and also bought myself several plants and tubs for my balcony. I have to pot them now in the compost. I bought one already potted tub with an assortment of plants, a daisy plant and a beautiful pink camellia. Together with the one Nikki bought me for Mothers day, they will look so good on the balcony. Nik came back with me and carried it all upstairs. This is good as I would never have been able to carry them myself as they are so heavy. Just have to pot two of the plants and then I will take photos of the balcony and the rest of the flat and post them on here.

I woke at 5am again today but did not get up until 6am. The sun was bright ,right from dawn and so it must be a good day today. I just hope it warms up a bit as it is still cold even in the sunshine. I am having a lazy day today with nothing planned. That is how Sunday should be ...a day of rest. I may look up the church services after I have written this and troop along and give it the once over. I am still looking for a charismatic vicar...like the ones I have recently been lucky to have known. Fred, the vicar who buried my mum was fantastic. I would have travelled 50 miles to one of his services. But I think going to Plymouth from here is impossible! Then I had a great vicar when I lived in Frome. But since then I have tried the church where I have lived and either not liked the service or the vicar. In Chorley I found a great vicar and a lovely friendly community. I wonder what Southport can do? It makes a huge difference to me...maybe that is wrong?

I discussed Nikki's predicament with her and told her what Matt had to say on the matter. he is very protective of his sister and gets anxious about the way she is treated. Good job he does not live here or he would be having something to say to Rob and that would no doubt make things a lot worse. She does love him and thinks he loves her too. Apparently he realised how unreasonable he had been and said sorry and then sent the kids to bed and got some nice food from Waitrose, arranged the table with candles and flowers and told nik to have a bath while he got it already. He has suggested they do that every Friday night. Now how romantic was that? Do you think he has seen the light?He has never done anything like that before! We shall see! As I pointed out he cannot keep on putting Nikki on this roller coaster of emotion. The very idea of her having to put up with this behaviour for the rest of her life just depresses me. I think she has to make it clear that these temper tantrums are not acceptable. perhaps he will think twice before he does it again if she makes it clear that she will not tolerate it. If he truly loves her and the kids he will not want to risk losing them. We shall see. It is up to Nikki what she puts up with. I know as I put up with Maurice's affairs for 20 years before the marriage finally collapsed. I should have walked out years before but I had 3 small children. Where was I to go? I could not go home and admit I had married the wrong guy as my parents never wanted me to marry him in the first place. They thought he was not good enough...probably true! But I had 3 marvellous kids from the relationship! I do not want Nikki to suffer for 20 years and then find he leaves her. It is so hard to start again with 3 kids in tow. That is why it is important for Nikki to finish her nursing degree as she must have the means of supporting herself in her own career. Then if the going gets tough and the kids are a bit older, she can leave and set up on her own. That would be better than a lifetime of unhappiness withthe wrong guy.

Well I am a bit of a Marjorie Proops this morning. Gosh that shows my age...I think she is dead now. She used to be an agony aunt in the Daily Mirror I think!Experience of life shows you how to react doesn't it. These younsters have not been around and suffered enough to know what is good and what is unacceptable.All I want is happiness for all my kids and my grandchildren. With no husband or partner they are my world. It is what I live for...nothing else! And I love them all equally.

The wedding in Vietnam is at a crisis point! Tien quite rightly wants to arrange her own wedding. Her mum has other ideas and is rapidly dictating everything ...even the bridesmaids and pageboys! This has caused a major row. As Tien says she does not want any bridesmaids apart from Tilly and no pageboys. Why should she have folks she has never met and does not know. The fact that they are distant relatives has nothing to do with it! So I am not sure where we go from here! I will keep you posted!

Andy and Cara are happy enough and longing to break up on Wednesday. They are off to New York for a mini-break with jack and are really looking forward to it. It will be Cara's only chance to go abroad this year as she cannot travel after 4 months pregnant.I hope they have a good time. I have never been to US and have no desire to as yet. There are other places I want to go to before that...especially Egypt and back to Singapore again. I would also like to visit Australia and New Zealand as I have a lot of friends out there I would like to see again.

Must go now if I amto go to church. have a good weekend everyone!

 

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11:01:05 o'clock BST
Feeling Happy
Hearing Jonatan ross radio 2

Saturday march 31st.

The last day of March and it is still quite cool outside. The sun is shining but you certainly need a warm coat when venturing outside. It is lovely to see daffodils and tulips growing in gardens. I have bunches in vases in the lounge. Such beautiful flowers but they do not last very long. The daffs do not seem to last more than a few days even when you buy them in bud. Tulips vary and I have found that an aspirin in the water stops the stems from bending over. They stay upright. It is like a magic trick!!

I woke at 5am again but this time made a drink and got back into bed. I woke up at 7am having not touched the drink! I feel much more relaxed today and theb pain that was evident at 5am had gone by 7am....hooray!

I was supposed to go nto Nik's last evening after my lesson in Formby. Nik had taken the boys to Ormskirk to a party and was late back. I went to see my friends David and Sue whilst waiting on her return and got invited for tea. Just as well as I had a text message at 7pm saying do not come as Rob is in a foul mood, he has come home and started cleaning up and complaining at the state of the house and no tea cooked. The boys were chastised and sent to their rooms and he was going mad spring cleaning the kitchen diner.So I never went near as I know what he is like in a mood like that. Poor Niki she has a lot to put up with as looking after 3 boys and 3 extras after school every day. The place is bound to get messy. She could not be in Ormskirk and cooking tea at the same time. It seems so unreasonable to me. But I dare not interfere!

I rang this morning and she said she had managed to keep nout of his way. Probably he had a hangover from his evening of poker the night before! Apparently he is ok this morning. It must be hard for her to tiptoe around trying not to upset the master!

I have been busy on the phone this morning having rung all my children. I was on the phone to Matt for an hour putting the world to rights and discussing Nik's predicament! Still she loves him so what is there to say? I could not stand it personally. Whatever else my ex was...he was not a bully and he rarely raised his voice or hand in anger. If he had I would have been out of the door with the kids. I could not standthe moods and not knowing when he is about to explode.

I am meeting Nik later to take her out for lunch after her football duty. She watches one boy while Rob watches the other in their match.This starts at 12 and finishes about 1pm. Owen has his match earlier at 10am I think but it is all go in their house on Saturdays! So I will treat her to lunch to try and make it up to her. I do not know what else to do to make it alright for her. I feel pretty helpless really. It breaks my heart to know whe is not really very happy in her marriage. One thing I wanted after my diastrous marriage , was that they found happiness with a nice kind partner. It hasn't happened for Nikki; Matt had a sham wedding and a marriage that lasted 6 months before she took off; Andy was devastated when Nicola went off to London with his friend and took jack with her. So none of them have had a happy relationship to date. I have high hopes of Andy and Cara's relationship, with a baby on the way that is yearned for. Matt and Tien seem to have worked through their problems and I do hope that turns out to be successful. But what can Nik do when she clearly loves Rob despite his mood swings? Your guess is as good as mine.

Well I am off to town now to post a letter and get a few bits and bobs. Then I will pick up Nikki and have lunch at the garden centre and also pick up a few plants in pots for my balcony. Nik got me a beauty for Mothers Day but I need a few more and a box to hang over the balcony and fill with bizzie lizzies.

Have a good weekend and keep smiling.

 

 

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06:31:37 o'clock BST
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing steve allen at LBC

Friday March 30th.

I reckon I have now got myself into the habit of waking at 5am every day. I try getting back into bed again but sleep evades me. So I get up and start my day...a bit earlier than most folks I know. Still by the time I get to 9am, I feel I have done a day's work!5am means a lot to me actually as I shall never forget that day in May when I found mum dead in my bed. It was 5am exactly and I had only dropped off to sleep at 2am as I was worried about her breathing. When I woke at 5am she had gone. Bless her. No day goes by without me thinking of her.She would have loved this flat. She actually was very fond of Southport and she and dad used to come here every year to play in a Bridge tournament.They used to stay with me thereby saving on their hotel bill.

I found a good printer yesterday....HP and it is all singing all dancing. It can print photos, photocopy and scan as well as do standard printing.It is a bit more solid and expensive than my last one. So I am hoping this one will last a bit longer before it collapses. Printers are so much cheaper these days aren't they. The cheapest was £25! The one I bought was £50 which seems reasonable for what it can do. I came home and started to set up ready for printing. I did not fully read the insructions and half way through the installation the computer crashed! It was well and truly stuck. I could not do anything it had completely shut down! I had to pull the plug and just leave it like that as I then had to drive to Formby for a lesson and baby-sitting duties.

When I got back, I tried logging back on and all was well...it started up again as normal. I had read the trouble shooting section and it said do not connect to the computer until the screen tells you to as this will not allow you to install correctly. I had set up the whole works with the connection to the laptop in place. So that was why it had not worked! I then had to unstall the partly installed programme an start again. It took ages but in the end I got there and I am up and running. I managed to print out my e-tickets for Vietnam, so that is a relief.

I babysat for Owen and Joe while Nik and Rob went to see Max in his play. When I walked in Max said...you are not coming again are you? I said no and he said good because you fell asleep and all my friends saw you. Why did you do  that nanny? I was so embarrassed! I mumbled something about feeling poorly and changed the subject fast. What I do not get is why so many people were looking at me when there was a play going on, on stage. Why were they not looking at the play and all the little darlings?!

When I had finished lazy Joe's lesson(He kept asking how much longer he had to do work) It was time for Nik and Rob to return. Nik made omelettes which were lovely. I just fancied that. It is the best thing I have tasted in weeks. Then after Waterloo Road I came home. I do like that programme. It is a bit far fetched in many ways. Heads do not tend to be randy sex maniacs...they are usually old and crusty. Except my last Head who I nick-named George after George Clooney! Also I have never known a young sexy woman work in a school as secretary. The office is always full of middle-aged frumpy women!

I cannot believe it is Friday and half term already. Where does the time go? Somem kids break up today but the Catholic schools always work during Holy week and do not finish until next Wednesday.

Must go now and get some brekfast. Have a good one!

 

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