Ten thirteen goes forth

I am at the moment engaged in a war of mythical proportion with my former mate Kevin (I have a womans moustach !) Benson, who rides around weymouth on a childs motorcycle ! The whole thing is facebook orientated which is about the most poo thing I do with my time ! Myself , Kevin and The lightening boy (African Sunset ... not ginger) On a recent night out .... God I wish I was capable of laughter and looking happy !

basically Kevin found  bad picture of me and has apparently entered it in some gay moustache wearers club sort of thing ... the bastard !! Little does he know I have a couple of hundred hard mates on the way to give him a kicking as we speak !!

Any way I totally digress ... the weekend to date has been an unqualified success starting with my class last thing on Friday morning .. 14 gangsters all passed level 2 Food safety and on completion one said to me "have you had a good morning guv... ?" I have , I replied but this wasnt it ... we both had a laugh at that ! I do like intelligent gangstas .. One of my colleagues left for a new job in the week and got a leaving card from one of the lads which was quite touching . It concluded that " When I get out of here we can meet up smoke some weed then go and get some "Crack Ho's !!" How romantic !

Speaking of romantic .. I discovered how best to keep women eternally happy and sweet ... I might need to patent this !! Worked on Caroline!!

Also on Friday night went out to see a band .. the lead singer who did look a little like Boudica on Acid ran around the bar handing out plastic eggs with rice in them for us to shake to get into rythym .. she was a bit scary so we listened ... Rocky .. being Rocky and probably wondering if she was in any way needy of course surpassed himself and created a little shake dance . Sadly he was unaware of the presence of my camera and so here it comes ... live on this blog a facial of the Rockmeister doing something really silly !

There was the little matter on Saturday ofbuying a boat ... lightening and I had decided that there is great wealth to be plundered in Weymouth and so we have set up a Pirate community on Portland and aquired a boat .... it is 16ft long and called the "Saucy Trout!" ... We thought it would be cool to write on the back  Reg In Panama !! dont ask why as it is a middle aged man sort of thing !!

We are looking to get the trout shipshape prior to the olympics and then charging rich tourists an arm and a leg to come aboard to watch the olympic sailing ... may even have a shoal of trout by then .... please check out www.legalisedpiracyofrichgullibletourists.com  (if you are a complete muppet ...) Some will try !!

Finished off with another of Carolines forced marches over the cliffs around portland .. I reckon she used to be a PTI in the SAS or something ... Saying that when we do go the scenary is special on the jurrasic coast ,,, yes Beckie .. I do fit in well !! lol ...

Primative life on the Jurassic coast !!

Late on saturday I was out with Mr and Mrs Lightening when a rather large and really quite drunk lady approached lightening (in front of his wife) and said "Ooooh your still very ansome!!!" She then informed us that when lightening was in the Navy she had approached him and asked for a dance only to be rebuffed quite strongly with derisory comments on her size and looks ... Baaaard Lightening !!  However a week later she had found lightening alone and the worse for wear in a bar and he had actually said to her "I am alone and no one will dance with me ... will you ?" ... Fantastic stuff ....spent next three hours teasing him ... be sure your sins will find you out !! I also discovered that during his matelot dancing days that Lightening actually possesed a pair of "tucker boots ... " Hilarious stuff !!

regards

Shaun  (sinless and blame free!!)

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this

• #4 Comment from beckiepainton 
  01/07/08 13:19 | Permalink

  ha ha im just jealous, id love to go there, dig up a few anemonites or what ever they are called.Ill put it on my list of to do's in the summer holidays.Beckie x
• #3 Comment from funnyface0s0 
  30/06/08 17:35 | Permalink

  Oops, jus read back my 'chocolate comment', doesn't sound right does it .....LOL.... what i meant was ......(thinks carefully)....... i'd choose chocolate every time :o)
  Jaynee X
• #2 Comment from funnyface0s0 
  30/06/08 17:32 | Permalink

  Yay, Shaun ......... hey, take me to the chocolate factory and i'll have trouble saying no ....lol.......     I don't think you need fear about winning the Gay Moustach contest as its bound to be a Peter Starsted look alike.....lol.....
  Big Luv - Jaynee X
• #1 Comment from pamal3 
  30/06/08 00:25 | Permalink

  Lol. Please tease lightening from me! That is priceless. The boat worries me! Paint the s.o.s. sign In bold red on the side and I may relax when you are all partying In It! lol. The Rockmeister looks like a pillock! lol and finally...What is the prize for the winner/Runners up In the Gay moustache wearers club contest thingy? lol. Oh yeah....Chocolate Factory has me smiling!! lol :-) Love Pam xx