Archives
14:14:00 o'clock BST
Feeling Mischievous
Hearing Spongebob square pants
Embedding literacy skills on pub walls
Glittering prizes and endless compromises , shatter the illusion of integrity !! (Lee , Peart and Lifeson) Now why the hell did I write that ... I do agree that it is important sometimes when you hear something you sould write it down . ... I will return to this theme later .
Many thanks to those who commented re the drinking blogg .... Lets face it .. at some stage of our lives we have all got absolutely minging ... why even the lightening boy sometimes loses his cool persona !!
Now I have to prepare Portland for the arrival of two of the leafy villages greatest social legends ..... The Brushmeister and the Gangsta .... a rabid turf war could be on the cards . I decided to go out last night and perform some sort of reconnaisance mission prior to the lads arrival and took Rocky the wayward willy wandering shitehawk with me . The Rock does actually need a competent secretary as all he gets is non stop phone calls from the bloody needies ... they all know that to him fidelity is how irish folk bands play but all swear him undying love ... bloody sad to see ...
We checked out the "Hellmouth" and the spawn of satan and fighting lesbians were all on good form so that is on the agenda and from there we went to "Gods Waiting room" aka the legion .... As we were about to enter ... I am a member as I did carry a shooter for the queen it dawned on me that my shirt was a little offensive and so out of respect we didnt go in . NB .. carrying a shooter to merk utes or to lick down shotters does not get u a membership .... you get me ?? I was once told that in Eastbourne ... "Next" is a funeral parlour .
From there we crossed to the pub described by the Rock as the "tree hugging sandal wearing gay liberal arms " After putting on our arrans and growing bushy beards (dress code) we had a pint of organic beer made from sustainable hops and a lentil kebab before running away from the sounds of a folk band !! Rocks language was most unpleasant . The smell was rather like what i encountered at Greenham common .... Yes I went there too ! Funnily enough I went to Greenham Common in my first week as I joined all the other harbingers of death in escorting a cruise missile there . My job was to control one of the roundabouts on the A303 and to ensure that the charliewhiskeys (Cruisewatch peace women ) did not halt the convoy . I was ably assisted by PC170 Rob (Pondlife) Smith . After about 5 mins a rather ropy looking 2CV turned up and out jumped two middle aged ever so nicely spoken peace women . Seeing as I am about a foot taller than Rob they approach me and start singing at me ... "I am a victim of your violence ..you have my blood on your hands " .... My initial thought was not PC but I had only left training school 4 days ago so didnt really know what to do ... At this point a Wiltshire Police motorcyclist arrived to check our welfare . he noted the middle class women in disguise and their chanting and also noted that where we were stood was on the top of a steep bank . A decision was made and he simply propelled the louder peace woman down the bank on the end of his boot ! Rob and I were mortified (and relieved... never said anything about practical policing like that at training school!!) ..
the quieter peace woman leapt forward ..."Cordelia may be injured ... luckily I am a first aider !!" Our abrasive colleague simply shrugged his shoulders and kicked her down the bank too !! he got back on his bike and took off .... Our personnel carrier turned up .. I looked at Rob ... "This never happened ?" ..... "Agreed" Anyway i digress !!
Getting back to the reccy mission the Rock and I decided to check out "Fight Club" another local hostelry or hostility depending on who is in .... After an hour or so of listening to the excellent "North and South" well worth seeing if your in Weymouth I went into the toilet . I noted that the fight club mentality was alive and well last night ... as are small brains and cretin level english ... Nearly fell into the urinal !!
Happy days
Shaun
Written by shauntanner Blog about this entry |
Add to del.icio.us | 
digg this
-
Lol. What a naughty officer! How funny Is that grafitti? Well seeing they didn't have my spelling teacher!! (maniac, evil, scary, single, aggressive) Not me, the spelling teacher! lol. Love Pam xx
-
Ha, ha at the graffiti. Probably one of my pupils! Love the tale of Cordelia and the not so PC PC.
Linda x.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/lindaggeorge/GeorgeMansions/
12/05/08 11:21