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18:22:00 o'clock GMT
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing The Jazz Singer
The Lovebug
Hello everyone. I have had so much time to sit and think this weekend, I found myself wandering around In the past, somewhere that was both exhilirating and devastating at the same time! lol. If you, yourself pause, for a moment, and think back to your first love, Do you smile? or get that warm, and fuzzy feeling? Do you remember thinking, this is the real thing? The word Love is such a small word for such a huge meaning! lol.
Thinking back to mine, I remember feeling like a demented stalker, unable to think clearly or focus. I could feel my tummy churn like a washing machine on fast spin and that was just when I heard his name mentioned!. It was an obsession like no other. It was never straight forward In my world, not like the other's round about me. I was different.
I wasn't considered part of a group. An outsider In a small town that didn't accept newcomer's and quite obviously never would, and yet, there I was, completely smitten, head over heels In love. I was a secret. I was young and nieve. I played neil diamond's album The Jazz Singer over and over, secretly wishing, I wasn't a secret, that I could shout It from the rooftops. I was a girlfriend and I was so happy, It had It's downside though, It made me feel physically sick whenever I tried to kiss!!. lol. Not the most romantic scene for a kiss, with me having to either head to the nearest toilet, or try to get some water!! lol.
I plodded on until the Lovebug bit me once again, knowing this time was for keeps, didn't stop me from wondering for long enough, what If? but "If" never happened. It wasn't meant to be. When I heard the fateful words that he was getting married, I was quietly hauled back to my past, It was right there and then, that a full stop had been placed against us forever.
I have so many mixed feelings looking back. I am older and wiser and very content with my lot. It doesn't stop me pausing to remember or finding myself caught up In a dream where my memories can still run free. It IS better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. Take Care, Back Soon.
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no funny remarks from me pam. you have written a lovely entry, one which brought back a lot of painful memories to me. and yet. a hell of a lot of lovely ones too. i got dirty grin on gob now lol oh heck,i cant keep down too long lol take care lovely, mort xxx
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Wow......The comments (and I'm one of those that reads them occasionally) are pretty interesting. You provoked all reading to remember, or at least TRY to.
First Love......let's see.....which one~only kidding......I still talk with my first love. So glad we never married, too!
Sadly, TRUE love never hit me until I gave birth. Lots of fond memories from those years. I still have every love letter he'd given me over the years too. Funny thing, is we went to a Freshman Prom......and got together our senior year to go to that Prom together, as well. So, my photo's of that time are kinda neat. How much he and I changed over 4 years.
Had to laugh at your demented stalker comment. I SO get that. LM BEHIND OFF
Angel -
I didn't marry my high school sweetheart, (thank goodness) but the relationship I had with him, prepared me for what I have now with my husband. We knew the first time we saw each other that we would get married to one another.
Missie -
I agree...it is better to have loved and lost. I can't count how many times I have done just that! But as the song says "I could have missed the pain, but then I would have missed the dance!"
Very thought provoking entry.
Hugs..Pam
15/03/08 20:29
Hugs to you, Joyce
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