Life, the Universe and Everything

I used to drink in the Fox & Goose in West Thurrock and in my twenties it took me exactly fifteen minutes to walk between the pub and home. Two other pubs along the way - The Ship and The Old Shant - are equally spaced out. If I was going to work the following morning, I would set out from home at exactly a quarter to ten at night. Five minutes later I would pass The Old Shant, a further five minutes would take me to The Ship and I would walk through the door of the Fox and Goose at exactly ten o’clock. Even if I fancied another pint after an hour in the bar, that was tough luck because they had shut. This kept me sober so that I would not be hung-over at work in the morning.

Although I no longer frequent this particular hostelry, I do walk passed it on the way to and from work. A rather disturbing thing has happened: my walking speed has diminished so that this fifteen minute journey now takes an extra three minutes, sober.

I turn 37 this year and that must make me middle aged. My waistline seems to be expanding at similar rate as my walking speed decreases. I went to the doctor and he told me to do something at least twice a week that leaves me slightly out of breath. So I’ve taken up smoking.