Life, the Universe and Everything

I was six years-old when my mum managed to get hold of tickets for the pair of us to visit the Royal Tournament. The only part about the Royal Tournament that the word ‘tournament’ could apply to is the Royal Navy teams transporting a field gun across an assault course.

At six years-old, the only thing I wanted was to play with the machine guns and tanks and stuff; I had action men, I knew the score. My mum allowed me to play with these guns, tanks and bazookas - I may have even flown a Tornado that day, but I am not really sure (wishful thinking on my part) - then all of a sudden; mum dropped the bombshell upon me. I was allowed to carry on playing with the entire arsenal that our armed forces had brought to Earl’s Court; however as my mum wanted to watch the Queen walk past. I had to leave the guns alone and stand next to mum while she waited for our monarch. I was six; I wanted to play with guns so no deal. Then I was given the terms and conditions of our outing, and they were not negotiable: I could play with everything that day provided mum could watch the Queen walk past, and as six-year-old boys needed supervision, I had to watch the Queen too. Huffing and puffing, and dragging my feet the way six-year-olds do when they do not get their own way, I gave up arguing and followed mum so that she could watch a woman wearing a tiara walk past with two of her sons - neither of whom would be King - after which I would get to become action man again.

There was a drawback to this plan though: I also had to watch the Queen walk past. From now until my dying day I shall remember being right by the velvet rope as the queen walked down the red carpet just a couple of yards away from me, and I actually felt something: I now realise that this felling was pride. I do not know if it was just this experience, but even though I am a socialist, I am also a committed royalist. I know that the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but they do not exactly go hand-in-hand.

I have achieved things in life, I passed most of my exams, won medals and trophies playing football and at karate competitions as a youngster, but this was something else.