MARIE'S MUSES

“Family love is like the wind: instinctive, raw, fragile, beautiful. At times angry, but always unstoppable. It is our collective breath. It is the world’s greatest force.” ~James McBride

Families come in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes families are large, consisting of a whole houseful of children and a mom and a dad. Other families are small, perhaps only two people that care deeply for one another. Still other families don’t have moms, or they don’t have dads. A family might just be a single person and their beloved pet, or it can be a whole community, united in a single unit of caring and understanding.

A family is a group of people who love and care for one another in a unique way. It doesn’t take blood to unite them, only love, and the glue of respect and trust.

A family is shelter, a port in a storm. I know that when the outside world is rough and full of opposition, I can go home to the bosom of my family and I can feel safe and secure, accepted for who I am, no matter what may be.

Family love is unconditional. It accepts us no matter who we are, or what we’ve done or what we may do tomorrow. Regardless of disappointments, or misunderstandings, it is always there, unflinching, never changing.

Family is the bedrock of society, a pivotal and fundamental part of who we are as a collective. When the family begins to break down, society begins to dissolve. We can see that beginning to happen around us now. Too many children, being brought up by single parents, their sense of worth wounded by absentee parents and a societal collective that is too tired, or too caught up in their own lives to care or understand. When I was a child I knew that if I did wrong,  there would not only be hell to pay at school, or from a neighbour, but that there would be hell to pay at home. My conscience was not just my mom and my dad, but my world altogether. I knew that if I was hurt or upset someone would pick me up, and it didn’t have to be my mom or my dad, it might have been anyone, because back then … communities cared as a whole.

A family is standards, and boundaries and the knowledge of how far you can go and where the line is that cannot be crossed. Loving ties that bind us to our past, our present and our future. There is security in knowing where one thing ends and anotherbegins. Stability in knowing the lie of the land.

My son Douglas told me yesterday that my daughter in law, his wife Kayla , thinks I don’t like her. From the moment I knew my son loved her, I loved her too. She is one half of my son, the mother of my grandson and I love her dearly. We have not had much opportunity to get to know each other in the way that mother's and daughter's in law usually do, what with being thousands of miles apart. The only time I have been able to spend with her was at their wedding, where they were very busy, and for a few days afterwards. We don’t really know each other, but I pray for her every day. I think I will have to do more to let her know that I care. She is family, a part of my family, and I need to let her know that.

Sometimes simple is best …

Serves 2

When I was a child I hated peas. My mother found a cricket in the bottom of a tin of peas once and that did it for me. I never gave them much of a chance after that. I did like frozen peas though and gradually through the years I have come to enjoy them. Fresh is best, frozen is not bad, tinned is unacceptable … This is delicious in it’s simplicity, no ifs ands or buts …

2 TBS butter

2 TBS flour

2 cups whole milk

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

1 cup frozen peas

4 slices of bread

Softened butter for spreading

Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir in the flour and cook, stirring, for one minute. Slowly whisk in the milk and cook, stirring, over medium heat until it begins to bubble and is thickened. Season with salt and pepper to taste and turn the heat down to low to keep warm while you cook the peas.

Bring a small pot of water to the boil and add the peas. Bring the water back to the boil and cook them for only a few minutes, no longer. Drain them well. Stir them into the white sauce and keep warm.

Toast the slices of bread and butter them. Lay them on two plates and spoon the warm sauce with the peas over top. Serve.