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Friends I have grown
I've always been the friendly sort, preferring to be someone's friend rather than their enemy...taking the childhood advice of my father to heart..."You can catch alot more flies with honey than vinegar." Probably the best piece of advice my father ever gave me. What is a friend? Perhaps this little poem I found on the net sums it up best:
A friend is someone who cares for you, who sticks by your side when you're lonely, who helps you up when you get hurt, but most importantly friends come in different ways.
By: Joseph
I've had alot of friends and acquaintances in my life...but I can count my best friends...the ones that lingered and stayed...the ones that meant the most....the ones I could depend on.....those ones....I can count on one hand....and that is not a bad thing. There were lots of friends through the years, but these are the ones that stand out in my mind and meant the most to me.
My very first best friend was a girl named Susan Warburton. My mother used to call us Mutt and Jeff. She was as tall as I was short, but we felt like two peas in a pod. She was the first friend I made when I started school and we remained friends well into our adulthood, even though out paths took us thousands of miles away from each other, and indeed our lives took completely different turns. When we were girls you never saw one without the other...attached at the hip, we went and did everything together. Her family always seemed different than mine. For one thing her dad was home alot of the time and her parents seemed to be alot happier together. Her mother introduced me to the joys of potato pancakes and cantaloupe with ice cream. She had this HUGE dollhouse and I loved to go over there and play with it. Her father had made it and it was made of wood and sturdy and even had homemade wooden furniture in it. Her older brother Billie had a mechano set and used to build wonderful things with it. Susan and I spent hours crawling through grass and mud and climbing hills and just doing all the things that you do as a kid when the world is full of promise and hope. When I was 9 she moved away and my heart was broken. I was almost inconsolable....moping around the house for days afterwards...until the first letter came in the mail and then it was ok...I knew I hadn't lost her...she was just in a different place. We corresponded for many, many years and when I got married the first time she was at my wedding. She was an intellectual...I was a lover...she became a veterinarian....I became a wife and mother. It seemed we were not as alike as peas in a podas we thought. The last time I saw her, it appeared that all our commonalities had dissappeared and the conversation was stilted and wooden....I have no idea where she is now...but I am grateful for the childhood friendship that we had and all that it taught us.
As a teenager my best friend was a girl named Linda Wilson. She lived right across the back yard from me and was rather large in size. Her mother introduced me to the wonders of Wacky Cake. We spent all our time together...we walked to school together, walked home from school together...stayed in on Friday nights and imagined what all the cool kids were doing...together. Linda had every 45 record imaginable and we would spend hours in her room listening to them and singing with them. She had a hanger with a bathrobe hanging on the hook of her closet door and (I'm embarassed to admit it now) we used to practice slow dancing with it to the sultry tones of "Baby I'm a Want You" and Bread. We even bought a book together...."How To Get A Teenage Boy And What To Do With Him When You Get Him." We pored through it's pages, memorizing it's words and all the techniques we would need to do just that...get a teenage boy. We picked our prey and stalked them for weeks...working on them...preparing them for the final onslaught of our many charms and we commiserated with each other when the "sure fire" techniques failed to work their magic.... We stayed friends up until we left school, but then....once again we lost touch. I wonder what she's doing now?
It's more difficult to make friends in adulthood. Husbands and children and home get in the way. I had lots of friends through the years that I shared recipes with and went to Bingo with, bringing up kids and husbands together. My ex husband was in the Military though and we always moved so much that it was difficult to make a connection with anyone that lasted more than a few years...but there was one lady...named Debbie Jackson..that I met when I was about 26...the night before I gave birth to my second son. She lived just down the street from me in a place called London, Ontario. WE had only been in London a few weeks and I really hadn't had the time to make any friends or get to know anyone. The night before my son was born, she came down, introduced herself to me, and invited me to go to Bingo with her and some friends and I jumped at the chance to meet some new people and spend some time away from the house. That night she casually offered to watch the kids for my husband when I went in labour....neither one of realizing that a short 24 hours later she would be doing just that! How very grateful I was for that and so, I could imagine, was my ex husband. We became fast friends after that. We started a craft group of ladies we called the stitch and bitch, where we would get together one night a week, away from husbands and children and work on our latest craft projects and just enjoy time away from responsability, sharing the gems of marriage and family life with each other. We went to aerobics classes together...we barbequed together..we cried and laughed together. She did move away several years later, but we never lost touch.....indeed we became neighbours again some 10 years or so later. Her chickens were the "ladies" I talked about in an earlier post. Since then we have shared many hours together....family deaths, divorce, children growing up and leaving the nest...and we are still friends...we still share a commonality...as diverse as we may be or seem and as far away as we may be in miles. I guess...and this surprises me as much as it probably would her...she is and has always been the best friend of my life. We talked together over the telephone just a few days ago and it was like we had never been apart....life had never gotten in the way...we were just as close as ever and conversation flowed and ebbed just as smoothly as the mighty Thames.
Friends are the treasure of life. They will come and they will go...but the real gems...the real gold is the one that sticks with you...no matter how much distance apart you may end up....the one that will pick you up....no matter how many times you fall....the one that will love you despite all your warts and failings...the one that's not afraid to tell you what they really think...not afraid to ask the really hard questions...and not afraid to hear the answers. I'm very thankful for all the friends I've had and have in my life, and all the one's I've yet to meet. They have added a richness and fullness to my life that indeed has been the icing on the cake.....and...(you knew this was coming...) speaking of cake...here's a cake recipe that I got from another old friend, many years ago...
*Leona‘s Crumb Cake*
Makes 9 servings
This delightful coffee cake is a recipe I got from an old friend Leona. Leona was quite a bit older than I and a bit scatty in the brain…..but she was a good friend and an even better cook!
½ cup butter, melted
2 cups packed light brown sugar
2 cups plain flour
1 cup sour milk*
1 large egg, beaten
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon
Preheat oven to 160*C/325*F and spray an 8-inch square pan with cooking spray.
Mix the brown sugar and flour until well combined and lump free, add the melted butter and stir well or crumble it between your hands until well blended. Reserve 3/4 cup of the mixture for topping, mixing the cinnamon into the topping mixture. Set aside.
Mix the baking powder into the crumb mixture remaining in the bowl, then add the milk and egg , mixing well. Pour into the prepared baking pan. Sprinkle evenly with the reserved topping and bake for about 55-60 minutes or until cake pulls slightly away from the side of the pan and a toothpick inserted into the centre comes out clean.
Serve warm with whipped cream or ice cream.
*Note: to make sour milk put 1 tsp of lemon juice or white vinegar into the bottom of the measuring cup and fill up to the 1 cup mark with milk. (use 2% or whole milk for this) Let stand 5 minutes to curdle and go sour.
Written by mariealicejoan Blog about this entry |
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Well Marie, I count you as a very good friend! My best friend in high school was Marlene Sachs. She died several years ago of breast cancer. This world still mourns her passing and celebrates her life. I know she is still with me every day. Are you familiar with a cookies called Lemon Squares? They're very similar to this crumb cake in appearance, but obviously not in ingredients.
Susie xxx -
Friends are very special .I have a friend from when I was 18 and she was 21 ,she reads my journal too ,.,.,Jan xx
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You are right Marie. Families do make it harder to make new friends. There are so many commitments that come first. But a good friend is always worth the effort. And I have discovered here in J'land that you do not even have to meet someone in person to offer the hand of friendship,
Kate.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/bobandkate/AnAnalysisofLife/ -
I agree Marie, it is so much harder to make what I call real friends when you are older....everyone is too busy with their own lives a lot of the time! Thats why I love JLand, everyone is like my best friend!
30/10/06 20:44
Fred
http://journals.aol.com/raven