sheep

12:52:21 o'clock GMT

Sheep

 

The great North South divide

 

The differences between the north and south of the country materialise in many different ways and as a ‘northerner’ in the south I am often amused by the way the whole of London grinds to a halt if there is a little bit of sleet overnight, why the fish and chip shops used sell Cod but not Haddock and Dogfish disguised as ‘Rock’ Salmon.

 

This divide is even evident in the sheep world.

 

If you have ever walked on Kinder Scout and encountered a band of marauding sheep you will i am sure know what I mean.

 

Here in the south we walk through pleasant lowland heath and downs populated by soft white or occasionally black fury balls of wool on sticks that bounce around looking pretty but hate getting their feet muddy and don't stray too far away from their personal stylist, beautician and therapist. 

 

Even the two headed sheep of Alfriston looks like it would just roll over and let you tickle its tummy.

 

Whereas the further north you go the more likely you are  to encounter sheep with attitude, even in the gentle dales the punk sheep of Hathersage whilst still looking like balls of wool on sticks give the distinct impression that they cannot be trusted to look after your rucksack while you pop behind the hedge for a minute.

 

There is however nothing more fearful though to a group of walkers than the infamous Kinder Scout Mafia.

 

Yes they look like they are actually scared of you at first, slightly dumb and oddly cute but it is all a well used ploy to put you at ease. They have developed a cunning scheme to catch out weary travellers and nick anything edible or that could be traded in for a nice bit of grass. First the dumb one just wanders around in front of you, maybe shaking a bit at the knees to catch your attention and lull you into thinking it is scared then as you sit there thinking about mint sauce his mates sneak up from behind and raid your rucksack seeking out Mars bars, fruit, sandwiches and anything that can be carried off and sold further down the hill, even the cotton T – shirt on your back isn’t safe from attack in their campaign to boost the wool industry.

 

We have now come close to having a scary sheep moment on the North Downs Way,  sitting watching the M25 traffic snake away in a sort of Mer du Glace type of way we noticed a fat but hungry looking bunch of sheep on the crest of a hill. Unlike the KinderMafia this gang looked slightly timid and at first tried to run away but two of the gang thought that they could probably get one over the others and gain some cred points by snaffling our chocolate and slowly moved closer trying to syche us out. The rest of the gang waiting obviously ready to make a bolt for it if their mates were caught. In the end after a bit of eyeballing the Oxted Downs boys could only muster a polite can we have some chocolate and pretend to our mates that we have snaffled it from you.

Written by kevanliz Link to this entry | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own