KATIES DIARY

Hiya everyone.

This is the second try of updating my journal.My first try got eaten.

I hope everyone is enjoying the weather in there parts of the world.The other day it was so warm and spring like. I woke up with the sun shining and the birds singing there love songs it was lovely. The next day i woke to rain freezing cold and the birds was frozen stiff still singing but from chattering beaks. lol. poor things. On the sunny day i took a little wark with the dogs. As i was walking i came across a huge amount of screaming. It was from 5 seagulls. 4 seagulls on a roof top 1 sea gull was doing fly pasts trying to scare the other ones away. It was was swooping down and the other gulls was screaming at the 1 doing the fly past swooping. In the end the swooping sea gull found its self another roof to perch on. The bully gull did not win.It was fun to watch. At one time i would have walked past not paying attention to what was going on round me, now i open my eyes to nature and its wonders. Did i tell you i once saw two lady birds making love. I did take a picture but lost it, so i can not show you all. I can hear what your all saying, ohhh Katies got porn in her journal. lol not this time i am afraid.

Did i tell you i am going back in the classroom,I am 43 and wanting to learn, well they say your never too old. I am sitting my litracy GCSE, And doing a creative writing course to help my English along a bit. I am doing this before i start on another course to help me with composition for a a English history course i want to do. As a lot may know i read a lot of books, History being my favorite.So i thought why waste what i am reading, set it to some use. Also i think it will help me take my mind of the pain i am in, giving me something else for my brain to focus on. At the moment pain is all i can focus on. Being depressed and other factors in my life are not being helped by sitting back and doing chores and cooking.My son is 15 he does not need his mam so much in his life anymore. The courses i am starting with i can do a lot from the comfort of my rocking chair on the PC. so whats stopping me. Nothing, My litracy starts in may.I am not sure on the creative writing, And September for history.

Also i want to learn to drive. I am not sure i can do it yet with being in so much pain. But i want to try it. With luck and a bit of confidence i will never know,  until i try it. Right i am going to hit save, but before i do i hope you all have a lovely day.

God Bless.

love and hugs

Katie xx

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Hiya to my lovely friends.

I am still around. Some might know that with your comments.I wrote an entry the other week, it was about the trouble my good friend LisaJo has had to endure. How dare they do this to someone who is kind, caring , and loving, Jland lost someone very special the day she closed her doors.You are missed LisaJo.

My health is causing some concerns at the moment.The fibromyalgia is having a flair.A great big long one.I will get through it.One thing i have noticed is that with every flair it gets worse and worse.

One good thing today is i bought another cell phone. Its niffty i love it. I am not going to love transfering my info over because i put my old one down and can not think where i put it is. Right i need to find a take out menu, wish me luck!!

love and hugs, God bless

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I am not doing a long entry. I just need to say thank you everyone who left emails and offered advice. Iam doing ok and so is Daniel. Things are being planned and worked out. But i feel we will be ok now, all your support has helped me become a little stronger.i  hope you all have a great weekend and enjoy being with loved ones. And too all you mums out there in the UK and the US happy mothering sunday.

love and hugs

katie xx

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One of the main reasons i had a break from my journal was that i could not write what i felt in my journal. But i need to over come this and speak about the truth. What has been going on in my life, I have once again joined the ranks of the abused. The guy i was engaged to,the loving,kind never hurt a thing guy turned into a monster. He is the abuser and still is, although to start with the abuse was shouting and smashing things now its shouting, swearing, screaming, throwing things,pushing me over in to walls and drawers. and trying to aim punches to my tummy. How did it get this far because i gave him a key and trusted him enough to let him remain my friend. I thought if he seeked help it would make him better. It has not made any difference whats so ever. I know hate the man. I can not leave mine and Daniels home. It is my name on the rent book,  He has his own flat, but will not go home. I try so hard to keep the peace. Its killing me. The guy is mentaly unstable, he is  depressive. Who will not take his medications. I am terrified of this man. He knows i am scared of him. I told him. I have let my Doctor know, plus i told my support worker. They both advise the police. But this guy is not normal he would wait until they had gone. I am living a nightmare. I am sorry to unburden myself. I needed to. Thank you my dear sweet friends for that comforting shoulder.

love and big hugs

Katie

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    Thanks winn for this graphic

Thank you so much for the welcome back I have missed you all. Before i start i have a problem. LisaJo and Joyce could you email me a link to your journals. I have changed servers and can not gain access with my new email. Could i ask you to send me your links to: Katie39041@talktalk.net  please

Daniel is doing ok still a gobby little bugger but hey we can not have perfection in our children but how i wish we could.

I still have Toby he is a godsend he gives me a lot of comfort. He is doing very well although he is very keen and barks when he hears someone outside. Although when i am in bed he is there and he does not make a peep.He is my little hot water bottle that does not go cold the next morning. Blue and toby get on very well to say there both males.

Age is catching me up fast. I have to wear glasses all the time now. Im told they suit. I know there a great improvement I can see loads better. Tomorrow i am hoping to do a better entry. I have tried to save 3 entrys and if this does not save i am going to scream very very loud.

Goodnight and God bless

katie

xx

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I am so sorry if i worried anyone. One thing after the other happend. first one being that i changed servers.AOL became hell. I just could not sit on here trying to sort things out when my life was going through a rough period. Iam not out of the woods yet but i hope to turn everything around and sort my life out. I have made a promise to myself that i will become stronger and i know i have started getting to that goal. I just hope i can get to access my journal again because i have tried and better tried to update.I will leave this entry short and sweet for now but i hope to be back with a longer explenation later this week. i love you all dearly and i have missed you all very much.

love and hugs

katie xx

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Thank you Shelly for the graphic.

I am sorry that i have not been around for a while. I have been having some very black days and i have been struggling to get some nasty thoughts out of my head. I am under my Doctor and they are monitoring how i am doing. I have also got a councilor to help me deal with my demons, I do realise there is only me that can deal with this problem.One thing bothers me, they say face your problems but how can you face things that are in your past and it is  impossible for you to face. My demons are dead or no longer around to face.Any way that is the place i am in and have been for around 8 weeks now.

I hope you are all looking  forward to Christmas and spending quality time with your family and friends.Christmas is getting worse with every passing year. You have to look at our family views of the meaning of Christmas and not how many presents one recieves.I have traditions i like to keep and maybe Daniel will carry it on for his children, When he spends Christmas with me we always go to church on Christmas eve,Churches nowadays do there services early evening so they do not get the drunks coming in and spoiling the service such a shame. Christmas eve will see me going to Durham Cathedral with Phil where there is a midnight service and holy communion.Daniel is spending Christmas with his Gran and Dad, it should have been my turn this year but i have forgone the pleasure because his gran was alone last year she is 70 this year and i think Gran and grandson should have there time together. Update on Toby well what can i say lol he is a rascal,he keeps Blue on his toes, me as well when the post man comes Toby likes to rip the letters to shreds.He fetches his lead and coat when he wants a walk. He is looking a 100 % better and he is looking happier if a pooch can look happy his eyes have a sparkle and his coat his getting a little thicker.Santa is visiting Blue and Toby this year we can not leave our fur babies out.

All that is left to say is thank you for all your love and support over the last twelve months and i hope each and every one of you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy new year. Keep warm and safe. 

God Bess.

love and hugs

 Thank you Donna for the graphic

Katie xxx

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Hiya all,

             Just to let you all know that i have Toby back with me and that i am his new mam.At the moment he is sat on my knee while i am typing this entry lol nothing like creature comforts. He says hiya to all of Mams friends and that he hopes to do an entry very soon about his adventures. It was a very long 7 days, i was phoning the kennels every other day to see if Tobys owners showed up.Although if they had i am certain questions would have been asked about the condition he was and is in. He is pitiful thin And has a very sad face with doleful brown eyes.Toby is under the watchful eye of Blue. Blue as told him off a couple o times but is very gentle with Toby which is nice to see.

I am still having Aolhell problems but am trying to visit you all as much as i can. People with heavy graphics i am having trouble with.  I am sad to have to go now but i need to go to the supermarket so for now i will say ta ta for now.

love and hugs

God Bless

katie xx

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 I am so glad i have been able to update this journal and to let you all know i am here and ok.

I have had no end of bother with my Aol account. I can not open some journals mine included in that, i get a blank white page and done on the bottom. I changed my broadband to another server Talk talk and since then i have had a hell of a time.

I will update on my health first. Not doing very good in the pain stakes. Hey i even got a new pain and boy i know about it. My hip i can not lift my leg to get upstairs and i can not bend down but yet i can walk. I get pain but its not as bad as lifting my leg up a step.

I may have have a new addition to my house. i am hoping and praying any way that it comes off. My new family member is called Toby and he is a stray jack russel cross that we found at the side of a busy road, every one of his ribs showing and his poor hips. But apart from that he was ok. We picked him up and brought him home. i reported it to the police and they sent the dog warden over on tuesdat to take toby to the kannels.The strays all go to the kennels for 7 days and some are claimed some are not. Now i know Toby is chipped and his owner as been notified. But the owner is a old lady who got rid of Toby when her husband passed away 2 years ago, the chip as not been updated with any new details and the dog warden phoned me yesterday to say he thinks i will be the new parent for Toby. I hope and pray that it happens because Toby is a real smart guy i will tell you the story another day.I will post pictures of him come what may next week.

I have been able to read a couple of journals sometimes, Firstly Joyce who went through a bad time with hubby i am praying for them.And i hope darling hubby is on the mend. 

Donna who lost her sister and she now is a angel in heaven I am so sorry and saddend by this news. My prayers and thoughts are with her and her family.

And last but not least my friend Debbie of frosty thoughts. who got her new chef i will say yippppeeeee.I hope you are feeling better my dear friend and the flu flew by ya all!!!  

I have to say i have missed you all and i have to say a big thank you to you all that sent me emails thank you all for your concerns i love you guys. So if i do not comment on your journals for a while do not be upset i will get there at some point or when aol lets me in.

God bless

Katie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Oh gosh does time fly.Sorry if i have not visited you this last week i will get there. Where to start, well you know i had surgery and i think it will be a long time before i go again. Its a full 7 days after surgery and i am still taking max dose pain meds, i am in agony with pain shooting to my ear and head. I went to the walk in clinnic today but the amount of people sat there was off putting so i turned around and walked out. I called at the supermarket and got some Oraldene mouth wash. Its used for infections and stuff in your gums.I am hoping it works if not its another trip to the Dentists come monday morning. I still can not smile properly. I have tried but it looks like a grimace than a smile. My cheeks feel weird also like pins and needles when i touch my face.  Right i am off back to bed i need sleep because i am not getting any because the pain keeps me awake. Take of your selfs i will be back to normal soon.

you are all in my prayers

love and hugs

Katie

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