Hearing Friends

It is easy to be self-focussed about hearing loss - and very understandable. After all, if connecting is a problem our first priority is trying to find ways to make ourselves hear better. We are unlikely to see it from the point of view of whoever is on the other end of the connection.  Even if it crosses our mind to do so we will hesitate to describe in detail the difficulty that we are having  - because we're too proud? too self-conscious? too determined to be normal? And yet, shouldn't we be doing everything we can to improve the connection? It's completely wrong to assume that other people won't care, won't want to be bothered. How can we expect them to respond in a way that will make us feel comfortable if they are not fully in the picture?

This came home to me very clearly in the comments I received from members of my family and one or two good friends who had kindly read review copies of my book Hearing For John. They found my descriptions of hearing loss very moving because although they know me very well, they had never imagined the kind of difficulties that it causes. The insider point of view had made them think about the problem and about me in an entirely new way. And I noticed almost immediately subtle changes in the way they related to me - nothing to do with sympathy, but simply practical differences in things they did (and now do) to improve the connections between us.

Sharing the insider view has already made a big difference to me. Which is why I am sure that the more we are prepared to contribute our own ideas and solutions here in HearingFriends, the more we will give others the insight they need to help us connect better. This is especially true for family, friends and people who work with us. With their normal hearing they need to be helped to understand in more private detail how hearing problems affect us. And if they become regular visitors to HearingFriends they will be able to pick up many of the little thoughts and tricks that can be so helpful in our connections. Most of us learn to live with hearing loss. Even so, there is a never-ending learning curve of new ideas that we can try to enhance our hearing experience. With our personal insider view, we are also very well placed to help people with normal hearing find positive ways to get through to us better.

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• #1 Comment from rdautumnsage 
  18/02/07 03:22 | Permalink

  (Huge hugs) Hi hon, finally made it here to check out your new journal. I didn't realize when you first left a comment in my Journal you had to deal with hearing loss yourself. We tend to relate to people who know what it is like to walk in our shoes. Is it possible the deaf and hearing impaired alienate themselves from others? We all do. Somehow we don't expect them to understand the world we find ourselves in. I believe it is even more difficult for someone who used to be able to hear , when they finally go deaf. Nothing prepares you for that moment, or that shift in reality as I like to say. I'll be back around to visit dear one. (Hugs) Indigo
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