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21 April 2008
15:40:00 o'clock BST
In response to last Monday's drab sacrifical offerings of Apprentice-related gossip, the papers seem to have pulled out all the stops in order to bring us the most salacious rumour-mongering so far.
First up is Saturday's Daily Mail, which carried a decade-old photo of Claire bearing her nips while working as a holiday rep in Majorca. Wowee. Woman on holiday in drunken boobage flash shockah. Mary Whitehouse would be spinning in her grave. Black bars at the ready, BBC censors!
More alarming news came from the Sunday People. "SECRET TORMENT OF APPRENTICE TV BITCH", it screamed, above an article detailing Jenny being held hostage by a drug-crazed former lover who threatened to set fire to her. Yikes. Bet the boardroom is a walk in the park compared to that little lot. I'll say this once and then deny it forever, but - poor old Jenny, eh?
And, of course, it would be wrong to gloss over the frank admission made by Simon in the Sunday Mirror. "I blew over £20,000 on cocaine in five years. I was completely selfish. My whole life revolved around getting wrecked", he told the paper, before revealing that he was off his rocker for most of his honeymoon too.
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15:40:00 o'clock BST
Tabloid hell
First up is Saturday's Daily Mail, which carried a decade-old photo of Claire bearing her nips while working as a holiday rep in Majorca. Wowee. Woman on holiday in drunken boobage flash shockah. Mary Whitehouse would be spinning in her grave. Black bars at the ready, BBC censors!
More alarming news came from the Sunday People. "SECRET TORMENT OF APPRENTICE TV BITCH", it screamed, above an article detailing Jenny being held hostage by a drug-crazed former lover who threatened to set fire to her. Yikes. Bet the boardroom is a walk in the park compared to that little lot. I'll say this once and then deny it forever, but - poor old Jenny, eh?
And, of course, it would be wrong to gloss over the frank admission made by Simon in the Sunday Mirror. "I blew over £20,000 on cocaine in five years. I was completely selfish. My whole life revolved around getting wrecked", he told the paper, before revealing that he was off his rocker for most of his honeymoon too.
"I completely ripped my ex-wife's life apart", he continued. "There is not a day goes by when I don't think, 'What an absolute arsehole I've been'."
Blimey. It's always the not-so-quiet ones, isn't it?
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This entry has 2 comments: (Add your own)
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20 grand in five years? Less than 80 quid a week? It's not exactly Scarface is it. Most women I know spend more than that on mascara...
21/04/08 18:53