Diary of a podgy poof!

Ok, so I said you wouldn't hear from me for a while, but ya just can't imagine how boring it get's in a hotel room while your away.

Get this right? Last week, I was in the Hilton hotel, sorry, but what a rip off. £7.50 for a glass of wine? I mean WTF! That's $15 people, and we're talking Pinot Grigio here, not Moet!

Internet access £15 for 24 hours, not a month, 24 HOURS! You even had to pay £3 a night parking. I was at the end of the freaking M4 in Newport Wales, not bloody Knightsbridge!

This week? A shit hole outside Manchester called Prestwich, with people walking around getting pulled along by pitbulls the size of elephants and where have they put me? In the Premier lodge.

For those of you dear readers who have never graced the lobby of this fine establisment, it's known as the premier dodge, you have to pay up front, in case anyone does a runner.

If you want to spend the night with builders or lorry drivers, this is a dream come true (I love it lolol). The only place to eat is a TGI Friday's. What a dump! I've had to eat here two nights running as I daren't venture further than the car park.

Tonight, I was served by a bird with the biggest tits I have ever seen. Her badge proudly displayed the name, Pat. Trust me, if I was a straight man, I would have been tempted. These things would have made Jordan look like she had two fried eggs on an ironing board!

I realy tried to concentrate on the menu, but I just could'nt take my eyes off those jugs. I was even starting to think I was going straight. Lordy, can you imagine the news papers?

Gay man hipnotised by giant tits, now he can't get enough of em!

Trust me......... That ain't gonna happen ;-) I had to laugh though, for my American readers, the food portions for our main courses look like your appetizers.

Everytime I go to the States, I have just a main, or two starters (apetizers) asI can't manage your portions, but you guys over here? Forget it, you would starve to death. I think we'll all agree something though, TGI's does not represent real food, either American or English.

Oh well, back to dreaming about Pats tits. Lets just hope she's not serving breakfast tomorrow, or I may just be tempted to ask for a squeeze to see if they're real!

Love yas........ PP xxxxx

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• #38 Comment from rjsisti 
  06/06/08 18:27 | Permalink

  Congrats on being selected as one of the Guest Editor's Pick!
  
  Hugs, Rose
  
  http://journals.aol.com/rjsisti/roses-are-read/
• #37 Comment from stewielad1 
  02/06/08 20:51 | Permalink

  Gaz you a married man, get your eyes of some old fish's funbags!!! Hope your well mate, and that married life is treating you well. Eww Prestwich!! Never mind, people have to live there, it's waste of a postcode otherwise!
• #36 Comment from totallymentalben 
  31/05/08 03:32 | Permalink

  Damn, I've got to make sure I visit more often, Gaz. Not only do I get your delightful outlook, but now there's Pat's ample bosom as a bonus. (Ok, tits. There, I said it.) I'm actually getting more of an appreciation for English cuisine after reading Nigella Lawson, no slouch in the ample bosom department herself. (I'm actually sucking on a Bass as I'm writing this. Coincidence? I think not...)
  
  Be well, my friend...
  Ben
  http://journals.aol.com/totallymentalben/better-left-unsaid/
• #35 Comment from cgtperkins 
  13/05/08 17:47 | Permalink

  Ah....you like boobs huh!! That is sooo funny. I must say that I look at boobs too and Im a female....I gotta know what Im up against!! LOL
  Hugs
  Carrie
• #34 Comment from scottsoperson 
  12/05/08 22:05 | Permalink

  mrs. obama says americans raise their kids to be timid.