IRISH MY ERSE!

Some twenty odd years ago, following one of many  misinformed or misguided editorials in The Times (of London, England)  that paper was gracious enough to publish a letter of mine, written in the hope that it would learn from it.

Though my circumstances at the time were straitened, nay, penurious, I began to receive curious mail. One came with a promotional audiotape featuring Captain Mark Phillips singing the praises of the Land Rover.( Those were the days when 4x4s could be expected in urban areas only if the military were mounting a coup d'etat or the "Police" in the North of Ireland were going about their Constabulary Duties.)

One came inviting me to a fine wine tasting, and another to view some objets d'art in Chelsea. Another invited me to invest in a Condominium in Florida. But I'm a Roman Catholic of the Old School, (motto: Inter Mutanda Constantia).Besides, I couldn't afford the fare.

Perhaps the most curious letter, dated 29th January January 1987, came from one A.J. Lewis, Chairman & Chief Executive of Hartley Investment Trust Limited.

I just found it in my attic today and it almost caused my involuntary defenestration.I think it deserves preservation for posterity:-

Dear Mr Kennedy

I am writing to you on a personal basis to see if you are interested in working together with myself to raise capital for a fighting fund to ensure the Conservative Party achieves success at the next election.

You are no doubt deeply concerned about the possible threat of a Labour victory at the next election and are obviously considering, as I am, the ramifications of such a success on your ability to create and conserve wealth. I can only assume that your circumstances are comparable  to mine, in that you are eager to protect the wealth you have created and the quality of life you and your family enjoy.

It is my considered opinion that if the Conservative Party do not win the next election, penal taxation, exchange controls and a breakdown of our traditional values will take place.

My purpose in writing to you is to seek your assistance, financially or by direct participation with a group of likeminded individuals, to raise substantial funds to meet a special requirement of the Conservative Party. The funds raised  will be directed at specific aspects of  election organisation and political campaigning by providing the constituencies with modern technology and advanced management systems.The total of the sums raised will be directed only towards this project and will not be diverted to any other activites within the Conservative Party.

If you do not wish to be actively involved in this initiative may I presume to ask for a donation made payable to the "Conservative Board of Finance Tactical Committee" and sent to me at the address below. However if you contribute already to the Conservative Board of Finance or to the Treasurers of the Conservative Party please ignore my request for a contribution.

Would you  please contact me if you can assist in any way.

Yours sincerely"

When THE TIMES published my letter they made a minor error in transcribing my address. All my curious mail repeated this error. Advertisers assume that anyone who has a letter published in The Times is not short of money, and they pass the addresses on to businesses and the Conservative Party, a party which I renounced at my Baptism, or which was renounced for me by my sponsors, when I renounced the Devil and all his works and pomps.

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