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Go to Hell AOL
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Hide the Rat part 2...and three quarters :O)
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Sleep.
10/02/08
Hide the Rat pt 2...and a half
06/02/08
Hide the Rat pt2
« February 2008 Archive
11 February 2008
21:21:00 o'clock GMT
Feeling Anxious

Sleep.

These last few nights I've had difficulty sleeping.
In fact, I have been struggling on and off for a while really but the last few days has been the worst.
Sunday evening I went to bed at 10pm but was still awake at 3.30am.
My alarm goes off at 4.55am.
I did manage to drift off at some point and woke for work.
I even got out of bed and went downstairs to make breakfast and get ready for work, but I felt so ill I just went back to bed.
 
I got out of bed around 9am and felt groggy and achy, but otherwise ok.
Now bedtime is fast approaching and I feel anxious.
I felt the same last night. I was sitting here on the sofa and just felt odd. Thinking about the darkness of the hallway, the steep staircase and the empty cold bedroom  just really seemed to play on my mind.
 
I am feeling it again now.
My bedroom feels lonely and empty.
Its not a place I want to be at night.
 
When I was a child and my parents told me it was bedtime I used to get upset.
I didnt like going to bed. I had awful trouble with sleep as a child. Bad dreams, screaming night terrors, sleep walking, hallucinations on waking. Sleep could be a bad thing for me sometimes.
I am feeling that now.
No sleepwalking or night terrors though. Bad dreams are a part of life, everyone has them at some point. Thats not the problem.
Its just a feeling.
Loneliness, emptiness and a hint of something dark.
 
Its an odd feeling, this dark thing. I dont mean like anything evil, but "dark" is the only way I can describe it. Almost like a childish fear of the night. That kind of dark, lonely strange feeling that sits in your tummy.
 
I think I shall sleep on the sofa tonight.
The ticking of the clock provides me with comfort.


Written by brainwhispers Blog about this entry
This entry has 14 comments: (Add your own)
  • #14 Comment from jmoqueen 
    12/02/08 21:45 | Permalink
    :(  sorry that sucks :(  I hope it gets better for you and you will be able to sleep properly.  Don't think of your bed as being a scary place.  Combat your fears, face them head on and I'm sure you will be fine xx

    Jenny

    http://journals.aol.co.uk/Jmoqueen/MyLife
  • #13 Comment from tommytickla 
    12/02/08 18:42 | Permalink
    I find working 19 hours helps you sleep. There's absolutely no problem with sleeping then. Waking up, well that's another thing. It's a bit like that opening scene in 4 weddings and a funeral. Exactly like that actually.

    A bedroom isn't lonely if it's full of ideas n dreams n things.

    Are you sure it's a dark lonely strange feeling sitting in your tummy? Maybe it's just vindaloo.
  • #12 Comment from abeautifulmess62 
    12/02/08 17:40 | Permalink
    You're just getting use to haveing someone beside you at night and when they arent there its making you feel lonely. Hopefully you'll feel better this weekend.
    Take care...
    ~Terry Ü  x
  • #11 Comment from jckfrstross 
    12/02/08 04:06 | Permalink
    have a good week:) hope you get some sleep maybe some nytol or tyelnol pm

    Deb
  • #10 Comment from amy122389 
    12/02/08 02:31 | Permalink
    I would offer to let you come sleep between me and Jesse but you're gonna have to fight the dog for that spot.  

    Ryan has the same problem at night....but she has the benefit of not having to wake up to go to school in the AM....so she just leaves the TV on and rides it out....usually falling asleep around 3 AM....

    Maybe some anti anxiety meds?  Hope you get some rest soon!!

    ::hug hug::

    ~Amy
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