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Proof It's All Written In The Stars *Not*!
The Jury's always been out for me on the notion of The Zodiac and fate... The pragmatist in me reckons it's a load of old cobblers, but the more dreamy, writer side of me likes the idea of Gods and Goddesses as architects, Intelligent Design and destiny.
However, I was trawling through the internet, bored, waiting for this baby to arrive as per usual when I came across my horoscope for this month. Regular readers will be unsurprised to hear I am a Leo, which apparently accounts for my headstrong attitude, big mouth and even bigger roar...No, my bark is NOT worse than my bite!
So, according to Russell Grant, my month should pan out like this:
If you're looking for romance (hah!), begin attending more educational, cultural, and religious functions starting on the 3rd (would love to! However, the worry of my waters breaking at any educational, cultural or religious function weighs far too heavy on my mind at the moment). Resist the urge to play the important executive at home on the 4th (what do they mean "play"?? I AM the "important executive!). An unexpected cheque from a government agency, insurance company, or academic institution could improve your domestic situation dramatically on the 5th (so where was it??). Your productivity will soar if you work at home on the 7th (like the "if" there - yesterday I wrote a paragraph on this blog and watched Alien Vs Predator in a bid to freak this child outta me. Does that count?) Be sure to follow your romantic impulses on the 8th (ye jest!); you won't be sorry! It might be difficult to strike a balance between your personal and professional lives on the 10th and 11th (hopefully this means I'll be offered an option on one of my specs as they wheel me to the delivery room...Well, positive thinking! Come on!). The tension will ease on the 12th, when you receive a handsome bonus for all your hard work. (Now, does this sound like the date the baby's arriving?? Perhaps wishful thinking) The Full Moon on the 13th helps you settle a domestic question (The only domestic question we have is "where is the end of the vacuum cleaner?" However, that would do, it's very irritating vacuuming without the end bit). Schedule professional talks for the 18th, when it will be easy to get your ideas across in a powerful way (?? Mind boggles). The 21st ushers in a month of heightened social activity (well, I suppose we'll be showing the child off to all and sundry when she finally gets here!). The New Moon on the 27th is favoured for joining a club or professional organisation. ("New Parents" Club at Tesco perhaps. We have vouchers!).
If you want to check out your stars for the day, week or month or even your...wait for it...LOVE STARS, click here. Who said The Bang2Write Blog wasn't educational, hey? You there, at the back... Don't make me come up there!
bang2write at 15:48:00 o'clock BST Blog about this entry |
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The following's sort of graphic, but it may help...
My Baby's Momma was nine-months pregnant, and she was ready to get the kid out of her. One night we decided to... well, ya know... At around six in the morning -- four fgriggin' hours later -- she woke me up to tell me that her water broke.
I told her to go back to sleep; to not worry about it.
An hour later, we woke up, and she was in labor.
Fourteen hours later, she gave birth to our daughter.
So, maybe a little smack in the sack would speed up the process :-)!! -
Erm - my OB/GYN suggested it when my eldest was taking his sweet time coming out...something to do with the release of hormones. -
OR - Hey, I'm older than you (albeit a month or something!), maybe that's it?
And Shell - I'm all up for fun, but I'm reminded of Julianne Moore in "9 Months" when she bans sex in case the baby sees Hugh Grant's todger... -
Well according to Russell, I "could develop a close relationship with an older, experienced person on the 8th". Which means I've only got about 7 and a half hours left to meet this mysterious indvidual!
The jury's out for me as well on all this stuff. But then, as a Libra, I'm supposed to be indecisive!
09/05/06 08:04
Sadly, it would seem my unborn daughter is just not ready to show her face yet.... Perhaps she really IS doing her hair and makeup?!?