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Just because The Others Do It...
Okay...this is a film.What you see is what you get. Push the story forward. Reveal character...Right?
WRONG.
A lot of "films" out there are written like novels. Google any ultra-famous film or look on Simply Scripts or whatever and you'll see them - acres of novelistic scene direction, offering extraneous information to the reader that is inaccessible to an audience. Characters will "wish", "reminisce" or "remember" left, right and centre. They will "stare absent-mindedly", "forget" or "search for a reason." Asides will be offered into characters' mindsets, motivations or even the fact that though they might be doing one thing right now, that's actually a cover for something they are going to do later.
Newsflash.
New writers can't do this.
Readers have a crafty little rule up their sleeves that gets them out of having to read the millionth spec script that week. It's called NO CLEAR IMAGE. You do not want this written on your report when it goes to a literary agent or producer. It's their get-out-jail-free card, their I-can't-be-arsed-to-read-anymore card, their I-don't-think-this-writer-knows-what-they're-doing card. Basically, they make the judgment that you'd sooner write a novel than a film by offering novelistic scene directions with NO CLEAR IMAGE like this:
Charlotte mulls over her coversation with Steve.
Or like this:
Jenny imagines she can hear a sound next door.
No clear image works like this: can the audience SEE this? They can? Right. But is it a REAL ACTION - and by that I mean, can the audience physically a) see it and b) get the intimation of that action with no or little room for misinterpretation? If you can answer both of those - great. If only one - you could be walking straight into NO CLEAR IMAGE territory. Uh oh.
Alot of writers believe STARING is an action. I don't. Stares should be used sparingly as far as I'm concerned and only ever when neccessary - such as a big pay-off for a joke or moment of suspense. However, I'm always surprised by how many people's characters STARE or LOOK at things every other line. It gets like Wimbledon:
Kate stares at John. He meets her eye, defiant.
KATE: I've never loved you.
John looks down, then back up again, hurt.
JOHN: How can you say that?
Yes, yes you saw it online! Yes, there are ones like it in this film, that film, whatever film...But guess what. That writer had been ASKED to do it that way, it was a commission. It can happen. I hate adverbs as a reader but on one of my commissions once - guess what: they asked me to include them! The producer in question even said, "How are we supposed to know how to do it?" I could've acted smug and said, "I'm not directing from the page". The second thing is they're RICH, they're SUCCESSFUL, they're bloody Shane Black/Tarantino/George Clooney/insert big screenwriter or director. Of course they can write what they want. They have big pulling power, big money behind them. The ins and outs of screenwriting then is kind of immaterial.
But for the rest of us, with no pulling power (other than real talent) and just the rampant ambition to get out there and get our films made, we are swimming against a colossal tide of errors, rightly or wrongly. There are hoops we have to jump through, things we have to do to serve our time and say, "Yes. I'm serious about this. I've read about it, I've studied it. Work with me and I won't be a diva. I won't walk out halfway through, I know what's expected of me and I will deliver." It's kind of like insurance for a producer or director: they pick up your script and say, "Hey. They know the conventions. Maybe this writer has got what we're looking for." Maybe it's fair - maybe it's not. But it's what you got - unless you have a million quid in the bank, or at least several hundred thousand to go off and do it on your own Robert Rodriguez style.
Tea on the lawn anyone, followed by croquet...?
bang2write at 14:39:00 o'clock BST Blog about this entry |
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With the throwing up bit I was trying to get the point across that it was a stare of uneasy disbelief because he is in love with Kate, rather than a "corr, get and eyeful of that" stare. However I guess the script up to that point should set that up, so it was overkill.
BUT fair point and I see what you mean by side stepping :)
Cheers
Chris -
his eyes open wide??? well side-stepped my friend!!! ; ) Good one, but synonyms and different turns of phrase for STARING should also be treated with caution too. It's not just the staring readers get peeved about but the general PACE - lots of beats, pauses, stares (and yes, eyes opening wide!) can affect it and not always for the best. I reccommend people count how many times characters stare or pause or whatever: in one of my (very) old drafts, I counted 116. Not good!!!
Also, be careful of cliche - ie. how many people ACTUALLY believe in your ACTUAL action? U can get away with it if it's "accepted stuff" but for example I'm unconvinced many people throw up when they see stuff they don't like. Why? Cos it's always in films.... -
So instead of having Mark staring in the following example, can I…..
Kate kisses Bill with passion. Mark turns and freezes, his eyes open wide at the pair. His knees start to wobble and he turns, running for the toilets with one hand over his stomach, the other over his mouth. -
No probs Slack, always a pleasure.
And as for the "want" to overwrite..Well that's a whole post in itself! I daresay I'll get to it sooner or later! ; )
21/09/06 15:55