Adams Brain Farts!

00:31:59 o'clock BST
Feeling Sad
Hearing Take That - Rule The World
Ive had fuckin enough of everything.

I cant cope with living out of a suitcase, being alone, have people committing suicide, people attempting to commit suicide, not eat for 48 hours, not sleep for 48 hours, get in fights with family and friends, people being assholes to me for no reason knowing that im upset.

I try to be there for people and I never get anything back.

Karma is fucking shit!

Be good to people and theyll just take advantage!


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01:32:52 o'clock BST
Feeling Sad
Hearing Britney Spears - Cinderella
Isn't it amazing how things can change in such a little time. Since I wrote my last entry things have changed so much ive been scared to write in here again. Even just looking at my last entry makes me sad, I was so fuckin happy there. Like..seriously. Okay, so all in all lets do a quick rundown of whats happened since that last entry...

1. Danny is no longer any friend of mine
2. Danny more or less left me homeless and pennyless
3. 4 months on and ive still not secured somewhere to stay
4. Im working crazy hours and have no time for myself
5. A close family friend died from a brain tumour the same weekend I was told id be homeless.
6. A few days ago a good friend of mine hung himself because hes gay and where we grew up people just dont accept it. Hes a bit older than me but we grew close over the past few years, he was the only other gay I knew back home for so long.

So yeah, lifes great eh?

Ah c'est la vie.


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16:58:32 o'clock BST
Feeling Happy
Hearing Sophie Ellis Bextor - Me And My Imagination
Yay!

Since ive been at home Danny has been hunting for flats in Glasgow Harbour and has secured us this baby! Woo

Stunning Duplex Penthouse - 2 Double Bedrooms all fitted wardrobes, Master - Private Balcony(River Views)Jacuzzi/Shower/Dressing Room, Bed 2 with shower room and private balcony and terrace. Upper level Living/Entertaining/Dining area inc lounge (white leather suite/flat screen TV/River Views) Awesome black/stainless steel kitchen/bar area with central cooking island/American Fridge/Freezer/Icemaker. Luxury appliances -leading to formal dining area with top end dining table, leather & chrome chairs. French windows to private roof-top terrace for alfresco dining/BBQ's & drinks under the stars! 2 Car secure u/ground parking - direct lift access

Pics:


I cant wait! We'll have a move in date next week but wont be until July I dont believe! Im well excited

Just dont ask how much it costs....


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00:00:24 o'clock BST
Feeling Angry
Hearing Sophie Ellis Bextor - Only One
Ok heres the low-down
My ex was my first big love of my life. We were together for a few good years. To cut a long story short he cheated on me, I reacted badly. He was smitten with him and started a relationship, I was a wreck. Now even though Ive had relationships since, tonight has been evidence Im still sure Im not over it. Even though I know hes been out and about and probably had other relationships (thing is hes a bi guy and not totally out).
So, I log onto MSN and hes on and his little personal message is "awesommmmme weekend" and his little display picture is him kissing a guy on the cheek in a club. I dont know why but this has really sparked something in me. Jealously? Hes moved no? Hes not kissing me?
I dont know. But I just know its made me react in a way I shouldnt be a few years after our relationship has ended. We still stay in sparse contact, I mean we are both MSN but not talking to each other. But sometimes we exchange lengthy emails to eachother. Hes really rather in control of the communicatin between us. But anyways, am I just been silly by reacting like this?
Another thing is he is leaving for Australia for "a year or two" in September and ive seen him out and about in Glasgow with his mates, and a part of me wants to see him again before he leaves. But its weird cause I cant be the first to make the move, I cant be. It just wouldnt work. And if hes happy with someone else right now then surely im not going to interupt that, and for what really? It would end up being an awkward conversation anyways. But maybe its cause I never really got proper closure on what had happened then. He told me and he ended it. It happened so quickly I just became a wreck. I mean he fucking told me by text after we had been out on a date. He took me back to my place at around 1am and he text me at like 3am telling me we shouldnt see eachother and hes been seeing someone else. He wouldnt return my calls or texts for days after. So ive never had this closure so many other have and what we envitably need.
Im really sorry for ranting, but hey, whats a blog for but ranting?
But grr..I really shouldnt be feeling this way years after should I?

Grrrr!
x


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20:29:21 o'clock BST
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder
Evening everyone!
I hope everyones been having a good weekend. Its a bank holiday weekend over here which always means copious amounts of alcohol (moreso than usual) and an abudance of bad food. We all need an excuse right?
Well, I got home safely on Saturday evening. Mummy Burtch was delighted so I was chuffed. We had loads of relatives and family friends over for the whole weekend which was nice. Also, got to go out with some friends on Saturday night, and bygod I got pretty drunk (shots are never a good idea). I always feel drunk in the venue im in but when its closing time and step outside I feel dead sober, which I always find fantastic. Though, when as far North as here being drunk post-bar is one way to keep you warm, otherwise you ended up with nipples that could cut glass.
Ive been far too self indulgent this weekend on the bad food stakes so Im gonna detox for a few days and get some good exercise in this week. I live right beside the beach so long runs around the hills and beach are always great in the morning. I may hit the local gym here too, I always liked that one. Well, im not working, so I may as well make the most of it. Its been weird not having to be able to work, I feel like im skipping work or cheating them somehow. I think that my workload has just been so heavy lately, this break is feeling unnatural. But hey, we all need one and I should stop kicking myself for it.
My friends and I have now decided we are going to run the London Marathon next year in aid of Macmillian Cancer Relief. For anyone who doesnt know who they are, they are a charity that has nurses who support cancer patients in their homes. All my friends and I have had people close to us who have died of cancer and the work these nurses did was extraordinary. So, we're going to get in touch with them and sort out the plans. The London Marathon 2007 just happened not long ago so we've got a good while till next years, but as my friends said "we aint as all fucking fit as you Burtchell, we need long training periods". Eh eh eh I bloody do to, yeah ok im quite fit, but not fit enough to run 26 miles nonstop thank you. So, more running the better really. But itll be fun and any awareness and money for the charity will always be great. Plus, the training will mean I can run off all the chocolate I ate this weekend :(
Nothing much else has really been happening this weekend, we've had people here all weekend. Drinking and having a great laugh and theyve only just left today. I think there was constant people up for the whole weekend. I wont comment on how much alcohol was drunk, but lets say us Scots/Italiens can show em how its done. Though, even I cringed when my dad decided it would be hilarious to dance along to WIld Wild West by Will Smith with bananas as accessories. It was too much,haha. Bless him. Also, calling a local radio station wishing a friend of ours a "Happy 60th" when he just turned 50,haha. Oh well, gotta love the family.
I hope everyone elses weekend was as nice as mine!
And thanks for commenting Gemma. Theyre all appreciated of course ;)
x


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00:51:50 o'clock BST
Feeling Flirtatious
Hearing THe Beatles - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

Yeah you may laugh but im sorry but Henry from "Ugly Betty" is so, darn cute! If I could wrap him up, turn him gay, and unwrap him he would be perfection. THIS is what im looking for...

Grr CUTE!

An update on the general evening. It was all well, 2 hours of Ugly Betty was great. However, Danny just came back like a bear with a sore paw. Im sorry but its not MY fault he and his mates decided to go to see Pirates of the Carribean on opening night, a Friday night, in Glasgow City Center with NO booked seats and expect to get in. He's just making stupid snide remarks that he'll know will rile me. Asshole.

ANYWAYS,  its bed time so I hope everyones good!

x

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19:42:15 o'clock BST
Feeling Happy
Hearing Patrick Wolf - Wind In The Wires

Hey guys!

Another day, and suprisingly another Burtch update. I write this as the sun is blistering my eyes. I somehow ended up on the side of the flat that looks upon the sun set. Which is lovely most nights, but with my massive 15ft high, 3rd floor bedroom windows its burning me with its brightness! So, I apologise if my typing gets impaired by my squint eyes.

Unfortunately, I got a bit delayed in my homeward bound mission. Due to having to be in work all day. So now theres no point in driving up, cause I wont be there till gone midnight and im sure my surprise to my folks would be met with tired eyes and nightgowns. So, I think ill leave it till tomorrow. Though, im not really looking forward to attempting to get out of Glasgow, which is as bad enough anyways, but a Bank Holiday weekend Saturday. Its going to be hellish that motorway tomorrow. Oh well, ive burnt some quality cheesy CDs to keep me entertained as per usual. Woo!

Ive been looking online at Glasgow Harbour flats to rent from the Summer and there are a few good ones available, and some fucking gorgeous ones which are a bit too pricey at the moment. However, had a talk with my estate agent friend who deals in letting and she told me to stay firm as the summer months are the typical months people move out and new apartments go for lease, so shes on my case which is all good! I will be in there for the Summer. I already have a summer BBQ planned on the 50ft terrace overlooking the river ;) haha

Well, im just going to chill out tonight. As you may have read its been a pretty stressy week. Danny is off out to watch Pirates of the Carribean 3. I had the choice to go or sit here munching on bad food and a double bill of Ugly Betty. I chose the latter naturally. 

Oh, and Lyn dont worry about the misunderstanding, I would have seen where you would have been coming from - bunk buddies and all that ;) haha

Hope everyones having a good one!

x

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00:36:59 o'clock BST
Feeling Frustrated
Hearing Rihanna - Breakin' Dishes

Evening guys!

Hope everyone out in J-Land is good. Its been a mixed bag today. Nothing really bad has happened, its just been one of those rather blah days. Not helped with the pissy rain and lack of hair product. Dont you hate doing your hair in the morning only not to look out your window and you get suitably pissed on which removes all your good work and making you look like, shit really? Well that pretty much happened today. So not good. And to be honest, it got worst. Not only did the rain wash away all the stuff holding it together but it then stopped raining, grand I thought. Oh no then it started getting really windy. At least when it was wet you could still semi style it. But when the wind gets to it, it just drys flat and leaves you all defeated! haha

Anyways, this afternoon in the rain, Danny and I went for a poke around Glasgow Harbour and its amazing. We got shown a show flat and it was so damn gorgeous! We fell in love with it! Damn you show flats. Unfortunately, as the price of these apartments are so sky high, we cant afford to buy one, and id rather not get tied into a mortgage right now so were on the lookout for one to rent. So,we'll keep you updated on that progress. But I WILL be living in one of them before the Summers over. Theres some info over at www.glasgowharbour.co.uk if you want to check it out!

Its been a pretty quiet night, unfortunately I think much to Lyns dismay Danny and I did not end up eating Angel Delight of each other. As fun as that would have been, I dont think his straight manhood could have coped. Plus his mother is staying over tonight, and I really dont think she could have coped with it either,haha.

But for some reason tonight, maybe because they popped onto MSN for the first time in about a year, ive been thinking a lot about my last boyfriend. We met in London and that, and it was weird, we were a fucking ace couple, he was amazing. Hes got a typical really posh English accent, I loved it. Even though he was from the south of England we had loads in common in our upbringing, both rural and all that. We generally were really good together. However, I had kind of decided I needed to leave London and he was actually thinking the same. He got a job inDevon and I got a great job in Glasgow (where I still am). So, we thought about doing something long distance but we both kinda knew it wouldnt work so just called it a day. I think its harder breaking up with someone when you are both still so much in love with each other. Its terrible. But yeah, tonight he was on MSN and we had a real good catch up. I didnt ask but I think hes dating someone which sucks. It can just backs up my whole theory that lately everyone seems to be moving on except from me. I just keep thinking about him tonight, I wish things had turned out differently. He was so darn cute and lovely and everything I look for and just a complete contrast to the stereotypical gay scene queen.

But yeah as long as we remain in contact ill stay happy! Ill turn my frown upside down!

x

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23:43:04 o'clock BST
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Today The Sun's On Us

Evening guys!

Thankfully since the completion of my continous assessment, work has been quiet and I even was able to finish at a reasonable hour. Though as weird as it was finishing at 5pm, it felt pretty invigirating too.

So, for the rest of the night my flatmate and I have been spending some quality time with eachother. Its been too long, since the mad week and general heavy workload we've hardly seen eachother so it was great to sit down, eat Angel Delight from a pyrex jug and watched the Apprentice. We're now just flat hunting. We are wanting to move to Glasgow Harbour which is a new development area in Glasgow. Its lovely but rather expensive. Ill see if I can get some sample pics up in a bit.

Anyways, at work today I was procrastionating online with YouTube (as per!). I was rewatching this weeks episode of Parkinson with guests Joan Rivers, George Michael and Stephen Fry. On the show Stephen Fry came out with a big quote on life...

"Our lives are picnics. And every picnic is occassionally swamped with wasps. Sometimes you just want to leave the picnic - youre covered in wasps, theres dog turds on the grass. But sometimes you just think this is a great picnic. "

That was just my interpretation but heres the clip:

I fucking love him. If you have a spare few minutes, it'd be great to watch the whole show as it truely was fascinating and they all talk so canditaly! So check it out by following the YouTube links.

 

Night x

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14:11:38 o'clock BST
Feeling Happy
Hearing Sophie Ellis Bextor - New York City Lights

Afternoon guys!

Good news on my continous assessment. I killed it, well I killed it as much as possible. Finally some kudos for being a geek! As a mini celebration I picked up the new Sophie Ellis Bextor album (shes one woman who could convert me back!) "Trip The Light Fantastic"

She does some great 80s synth breezy pop on this album and there is a beautiful song called "Today The Suns On Us".

Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Today The Sun's On Us

I can see youre somewhere far away
Caught in another place
Where nothings going right

Shouldnt worry about the worst that could be
When youre here beside me
Dont look for troubled times
Knowing everything is fine

So you need to feel the bad to see the good
And thats the thing you do
But dont let it spoil your view
Of whats around you

Theres no rain, theres no storm
Though the blue sky makes you wonder
Dont you fear, warmth will come will come
And right now were in the sun
Sure enough seasons change
But dont let today get lost
Cause today the suns on us
Today the suns on us

Youre so restless
Underneath the surface
Dont you think I notice?
Its something you cant hide
When youre fighting with the times
But youve got to let it go
And just accept the things you cant control
Dont let your shadow spoil the view
Of whats around you

Theres no rain, theres no storm
Though the blue sky makes you wonder
Dont you fear warmth will come will come
And right now were in the sun
Sure enough seasons change
But dont let today get lost
Cause today the suns on us

The years go by
Stars will rise and fall
Will you be by my side through it all?

Theres no rain, theres no storm
Though the blue sky makes you wonder
Dont you fear warmth will come will come
And right now were in the sun
Sure enough seasons change
But dont let today get lost
Cause today the suns on us
Today the suns on us

Today the suns on us
Today the suns on us
(Sure enough, seasons change)
Dont let today get lost
Cause today the suns on us
Today the suns on us

 

Link http://www.yousendit.com/download/UW13eUNOdEMwVWswTVE9PQ

 

 

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