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11 April 2008 phooey........... >
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phooey.................
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"I carried you my child"
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Oh please God don't let my son die..
04/04/08
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« April 2008 Archive
16 April 2008
Subject: "I carried you my child"
Time: 03:19:00 o'clock BST
Author:  abicequeen
Mood:  Hopeful


Hello Dear Friends,  

Well obviously I was delusional that I could write while tending the little grandsons ha ha...What a blessing to be with them and Nana does run a tight ship so we got along fine when remembered that Nana is not as easily swayed as Mommie.

I hope that I do not repeat myself with this continuation of my story..

I remember one day sitting out in the lobby at the hockey rink when a little old lady (probably the age I am now) came up and said, "Lori, I thought your boy was sick.?"  I said yes, Gertie he is and she said, "how is he able to continue to play hockey then?"   I think TJ used this as a release but before the team hit the ice he would hang back and ask his father to tie up his laces as he was so weak.   To this day I marvel at this young man who probably did not know from whenst his help came....but in the "International Tournament" he was picked the MVP of all members from many countries.

Todd continued with chemotherapy treatments for about 6 months and your world continues on....but somedays you know it was the Lord who carried you through each step of the way.

There was a short break for TJ before he started his radiation and for that we drove up everyday  (2 hours)for about a time of 5 minutes for his treatment.   I know for me(radiation treatments) they tattoed me permantly but for that time 1981 they must have used some time of indelible pen.....so although TJ was told to be very careful in bathing and NOT to shower he comes out from showing one night with a pencil marker and says "Mom, can you remark those dots they put on me at the Cancer Clinic?"   Well what do you do...you almost freak out, no sense getting mad you just pray Lord help me to be sure that I am marking the dots right.

The results of the radiation caused TJ not to be able to eat as the first go round was higher up and affected his throat.   One of his buddies at school commented, "hey Tj don't you ever wash your neck as he looked like a real toasted marshmallow.

It was interesting that the school chums were really not aware of the gravity of TJ's situation and I guess that was all right.   He would never talk with us about anything although we kept an open dialogue so he would know he could ask us anything.

I remember finding the cost of travelling so horrendous that I was not sure how we could pay the gas bills...when our Pastor said "you could probably get some help from social assistance."   THAT whole experience although very grateful for the help was NOT a fun one.   The lady who was my social worker was not meant to be in that profession.

As the warm weather approached ball season was coming and I was concerned as I knew that TJ could not really be exposed to sunlight but when I talked with the radiologist she just said to have him wear a turtleneck and if it meant he had to go behind the dugout to be sick let him be as this was obviously a way he could deal with what was happening in his life.

In April I helped with the daffodil sales for Cancer research  and I asked permission to put my son's football picture up.   I wanted to tell folks that the slogan "Cancer can be beaten" was often true and here was a young man living proof.

Our life continued to change spiritually as a person can often go "overboard" and I became keenly aware that we were spending to much time at "church things" and neglecting our kids.  

Of course there was confusion by the two eldest who wondered why now we prayed before meals, why there was a Bible visible on the table and why mom and dad were going to prayer meetings and church....

By now we had left our house and had to find a place to live....hard when you have no money...

To be continued....



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