Amy Loves Peccarys

Well...things had gone completely belly up when I left my last entry...didnt have time to write about it though.  I dont have time to write about everything now either soa short summary will have to do....

police called out cos neighbours chucking metal in the road....again....

neighbours making lots of noise, asked them to turn it down, they got ratty...mark nearly decked them.

Police called out cos neighbours set fire to a bike then pulled out a knife.

And....we got the house!! Woo hoo!! Will be moving in on the weekend... WOO HOO!!!!

I probably wont be on this journal anymore so please check out my other one....dunno when that'll be updated yet either cos i dont have a computer yet!

Take care everyone, TTFN love A xxxxxxxxxx

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I'm still around...I've been writing in my new journal (link in the entry below)

this is just a quick entry to say hi and that I'll hopefully update you all with whats going on soon....at the moment...it's not good.

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No...I havent found a new house yet...but I do have a new home for my journal...

Amy Loves Peccarys II

It'll be sad to leave J-land but it has to be done.....

I will post a final farewell message in this journal before I leave...

ttfn xoxox

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Hey everyone...

I got home yesterday after the busiest days ever! I'm aching all over and totally exhausted....and we didnt even get a house :(

I met my new housemate....he's a friend of a friend of a friend kinda thing...his name is Mark and he's 22...bless him! My parents went all weird on me when I phoned them cos apparently I was seen going into a hhotel in clifton with some guy and my mate who I was staying with wasnt there....well...this was actually true but rather than anything sordid going on like my parents thought/think *tut* I was going to the bar of the place where house matey was staying to chat to him (so I know I'm not moving in with a complete psycho or anything) and my mate had gone to pick up her bloke and came along later.....I havent spoken to my parents yet since I got back so I'm not sure if they believe me....I kinda dont blame them after everything that happened with Stace (looooong story) but I wish they did...now they are suspicious of me moving to a place with this guy.....I dont want to go back home though...

Anyway, out of the three houses I had arranged to look at 2 had already gone before we got to look at them....the other one was in a state from the person that lived there but we were told it would all be tidied....decided to take it...the blokey phoned back later and said he had spoken to the landlady and she didnt want anyone on benefits living there (that'd be me then) even though I have a guarentor....

*sigh* So, I'm going to look at a place on Monday...it's pretty close to my parents...dunno if thats good or bad. I also have another one to phone up about too....

I hope I find something soon...I really dont want to move back home.

PS....I'm now back as a public journal! I'm going to start a new one soon somewhere else though as I will be losing access to AOL....as soon as I do that I'll let y'all know :)

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hey everyone!

Hope you are all well and stuff.....

Well...things have certainly been happening here!

I'm still in the flat with Stace at the moment...I have paid up to the end of the month and he said I could stay...I decided I dont want to move home and so I'm looking at places on Thursday...I'm gonna get a housemate! It's so exciting!!  One of the houses looks sooo cool and is just what I want....also, one of my mates knows someone who knows someone who is moving here soon and needs...a housemate!!! So, I might have found one already! He sounds pretty cool andI just have to have a chat with him now to make sure we both get on ok and stuff....woo hoo!

I told my mum all about this and she seems kinda happy I'm not going back home...phew! I didnt want to upset them but it would have driven me mad goingback again...I get on much better with my parents when we live seperatly! I told her about the housemate too....the guy is 22 apparently and my mum said it'd be nice for me to have a toy boy!! lol! What is she like!!  Seriously though, I'm not going there.....

Had a word with Stace about all the stuff we have....I bought pretty much everything so I get all the stuff for the kitchen, bed stuff, dining table, lamps...the lot....I said he can keep the bookcase I bought (cos he uses it), the laudry basket (he really wanted it!) and...he's getting custody of the boys :( I'll miss them so much.....but I think it made him happier to keep them....

My sleep pattern is still mental...I've been trying to sort it out by staying awake longer and longer to push it round through the night...I went to bed at 7pm and then just got up at 12am......I cant seem to sleep for long enough anymore....I'll have a nap in a few hours....

I'm going to my friends house to stay for a few days tomorrow...she's going to drive me to the 3 house viewings on Thursday :)

Well, thats about all the news from me....oh, except that to say I havent started my new journalyet but I will post on here next week to tell you whee it is....I wont be able to stay on AOL cos when I move my abeator81 account will be deleted cos Stace is the account holder...bummer eh....I'll try and come back asap though!

TTFN!

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Just to let you all know that I may not be back on here for a few days....

I split up with Stace today...although we are both sad about it I think it's for the best.

I'll do an entry soon with more details and I'll also let you all know where my new journalling home will be as I'll no longer have AOL in a few weeks.

Thank you so much to everyone for your comments, emails and support....it has really helped and it means a lot to me.

ttfn

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....here we go....my problem is still here but I have made my decision....

Basically, things havent been right with me and stace for a long while...I dont want to go into gory details but I'm really not happy. I thought I could fix it...I thought things could work out...I thought moving to a new place might help with that....

Since we knew we got the place I have had a worsening feeling of dread....and I know I just dont want to live with stace anymore...I want out...and I've finally decided to do something about it.

I spoke to my mum quickly yesterday...she's gonna phone me today when Stace is out to talk about it more. She said I can move home if I want to....next big thing is to speak to Stace about it....

Obviously, I dont really want to go back home but I feel like I have no choice at the moment...and I can always find a place of my own later anyway....

Just knowing that I have decided to do what I've been wanting deep down for a long time has lifted a great deal of pressure....I just have to get myself together to do it.

Another added stress is that I have been much much worse recently...for the past week I have been awake all through the night and not able to sleep until 10am or so the next morning....then of course I sleep all day and the cycle goes on....it does, however, seem to be shifting....it'll take a while to get back to normal i think but I'll get there....

I'm actually feeling quite excited about being on my own again!

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Hi everyone...thanks for the comments....I might just take you up on your offer of listening to the problem...but I dont want to burden you with it....and part of it might mean you think a bit less of me too :(

The problem is now much worse....and I'm trying to decide what I'm going to do....including deciding if I'm still going to move to the new place....I really need to talk to Stace about it....but there never seems to be a good time to do it...and I dont want to move back home and dont know if I can afford to live by myself....

Why do things always have to go and get so complicated for me!!!

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Hi everyone....

Well...we have been approved for our house...we've started packing and everything...yay.....

I'm in a bit of a pickle though...even though this is a private journal now i still dont feel comfortable talking about it on here....maybe I just dont want to come out and say it....maybe it's cos I'm thinking of making this public again....I dont know....I'm in considerable turmoil over it though........it's relationship stuff (dun dun DUN!!!!!)

Apart from all that....umm....oh, it's nearly 9.30am and I havnt slept at all all night.....I guess I should go get some sleep now.....if I can get to sleep....if only I never had to sleep ever!

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Just thought I'd let you all know I'm ok :)

I havent been too good over the weekend but I have a plan for my pacing and am feeeling more hopeful that I'll get out of this relapse soon...Went to my last M.E. group today...I thought it was the best one out of the lot cos here were less of us there today....I think the group has been very helpful and I'll kinda miss it...

Not much else been happening...I'm back to playing my Final Fantasy VII....man, I love that game!

I'll be back soon...and my journal might go back to public soon too :)

TTFN!

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